Trauma Queen
"The Trauma Within" is a weekly podcast hosted by Jimanekia, a Trauma and Sexual Assault expert, queer media consultant, and comprehensive sex educator. Join us as we normalize conversations about life's most challenging experiences, from sexual assault to mental health and beyond. Discover stories of resilience, expert insights, and a safe space for discussing some of life's most complex topics. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/traumaqueen/support
Trauma Queen
The Trauma Within Navigating Black Motherhood W/ Jade of All Jades
Do you have any questions, any comments about the episode? Jimanekia would love to hear from you!
Join us as we sit down with the incredible Jade of All Jades, co-host of Getting Grown and Jade in XD, for an episode that promises to touch your heart and tickle your funny bone. Jade shares her rich tapestry of life experiences, from her Gullah Geechee and Mexican heritage to her grounded upbringing in Texas. We get to know Jade as a multifaceted individual—mother, wife, friend, chef, and healer—who believes trauma is an unavoidable part of life that shapes who we are.
We then dive into the challenges faced by birthing parents, magnified by Jade's recounting of her own high-risk pregnancy during Hurricane Sandy. The conversation highlights systemic healthcare issues and the grueling reality of returning to work without maternity leave. This poignant discussion underscores the critical need for better maternity support and healthcare reforms, making it essential listening for advocates of social justice and parental rights.
But it’s not all heavy—Jade also brings her unique flair for storytelling to lighter moments that are no less captivating. From the chaos of a Costco trip turned fiasco to musings on love and authenticity, this episode is a rollercoaster of emotions. We wrap things up with a candid chat about social media boundaries, personal energy management, and even some laugh-out-loud fantasies about unconventional memorials. Whether you’re here for the wisdom or the laughs, this episode offers a rich, entertaining experience that you won't want to miss.
Thank you all for listening. Set a boundary with yourself this week, set a boundary with someone else. If someone else does not respect that boundary. LET THEM LOOSE YOU! Stay hydrated internally and externally. We do not have an ashy family.
IG: @The_Trauma_Within
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thetraumawithin
Jimanekia Ig: @Jimanekia
y'all, I'm super excited to have this lovely human on the show today. Jade of All Jades is the co-host of Getting Grown. She's also the co-host of Jade in XD. She is a mother, a friend, a daughter, a chef, a healer, a take no shit but a deeply loving black woman. Y'all we got Jade Fabulous, so I'm excited to have this conversation. I talked to your other half the other day and she and I had a good time. We had a good time.
Speaker 1:The spirit the tears I have so many halves what's bad, y'all got spiritual.
Speaker 2:We, you know we was talking about loss and just you know. So all the things. So y'all will hear the other half of getting grown. But today we have this lovely human who you've already heard the intro. But my first question, because I think it's so important, because every day is different and you might be having different vibes. So who are you?
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, who am I? Um, I am Jade. I am Jade of all Jades. That name is intentional because I am multifaceted. I never thought of myself as a creative, but I guess I am a lover of community, a lover of humanity, a great lover of humanity. I am a mother and a daughter and a wife and a sister and aunt. I'm all of the things. Yeah, I think that sums it up.
Speaker 2:We love that we love that.
Speaker 1:How do we meet you and I? We met through XD through XD and Chris Rogers Gay relationship goal is what they are. They've been together for the equivalent of like 50 years In the homo world that's how we met. Xd is my one of my very best friends, um, probably my work soulmate and, yeah, what like, like he's family at this point, and chris rogers is too. So, yes, that's how we met. I love it, you know what, and I like to take them to wrestling and have a time with them.
Speaker 2:Chris Rogers is too. So, yes, that's how we met Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I love it, you know what, and I like to take them to wrestling and have a time with them.
Speaker 1:And they fucking love it.
Speaker 2:Come on now. What does trauma mean to you?
Speaker 1:Trauma. I believe trauma to be inevitable in everybody's life. I think there are levels to it, but I believe that everybody experiences some trauma on the spectrum of trauma, on the spectrum of trauma, it is something that has impacted your life greatly. You may have worked on it, you may not have worked on it, but it is something that has impacted your life. That could come along with things that trigger that trauma. I guess, if you have not worked on that trauma, or even if you have worked on it right, because we're all human beings, but I think it is something that we all experience in one form or another. I could be wrong, though I have no clue.
Speaker 2:You know, I asked this question to everyone because I think that perspective is so helpful in understanding, like, where people are. I think trauma is what you make it. I think it's an experience, like you said, it's life-changing. So hearing like everyone's answers, I'm like you're not wrong, you're not wrong, you're not wrong. So I love that, I love that. So for the folks that don't know you, we're about to get in, we're about to get in, we're about to get in. So I was asking people, what should we talk about? And they said talk about motherhood and careers.
Speaker 2:And I am excited because we have some overlaps which I'm going to slide in at some point. But before we get into the motherhood, who was Jade? What kind of family did you grow up in? Where did you grow up? I'm a roots girl. I think we need the roots before we get to the present day.
Speaker 1:Oh, all over the place. Honestly, I come from an East Coast born family, new York, massachusetts, but we ended up moving to Texas at a certain point. I think I don't really have a lot of family there. My family up and moved for a better quality of life, a lower cost of living. Our roots are South Carolina, gullah Geechee roots. My great-grandmother is from Veracruz, mexico, and she's very present in my life, very, very present, always has been. She died when I was six, but she's very present. I live in Brooklyn and you're going to hear a lot of that.
Speaker 2:You know I have a lot of people in Brooklyn. All y'all out there.
Speaker 1:I need just yeah, and you know, flat it's flat bush, flat bushes are very, we get live and direct and niggas are okay. They finally moved. So, um, my family I do come from a two-parent household. I was a unicorn. Most of my friends didn't have their fathers around, and even now, as a big, grown person, we have a lot of conversations around parents in general, and parenting played different parts in our lives between me and my community, and even still I'm one of the very few who grew up with their father present, um, active, uh, and had a close relationship with my, and I have a close relationship with my dad.
Speaker 1:Um, my family is hippie-ish, kind of crunchy, uh, still real black. Uh, they're, they're multifaceted as well. My dad is probably one of the funniest people that I know. We get along so well. He likes to do all the things I like to do. We like to eat, we like to drink. You know we like to go out, so we kick it. My mother, I was raised by two earth signs. My father's a tourist and I'm grounded and I'm a virgo. So it was, uh, it was, a pretty grounded household, you know. But I also grew up with young parents. My parents had me at 20 and so you know they were relatively young in the scope of things. So even now in my own parenting I go back and I think about some of the shit that we went through and I'm like damn, y'all were like 25 doing this with two kids. Okay, let me. That puts things into perspective. So I hope that gave you a little ground.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know we're about to talk about how you got to be a mother. Did you always want to be a mom? Absolutely not. No, Okay, great as someone that has man desire. Just, it doesn't speak to my ministry. I'd rather go get more tattoos. How did you get here then To having this lovely child? Well, we know how you got here fucking, but how did you get?
Speaker 1:plainly and simply um, you know it's so funny, uh, as you asked me that question. Um, he's also going back to your last question, very, very, very blunt, right? So you know, and very direct. I remember when my parents got their first like house, house, coming out of apartments and you know for all of life, and my father said I'm getting a pet goose. He goes because they're meaning in dogs, and then he just goes on about his business, like it's that kind of feeling.
Speaker 1:But I say that to say when I got pregnant, the first thing out of my mother's mouth was you, like you? And I was like I know that's crazy, they were not. But no, she was also very surprised Because it wasn't anything that I really like aspired to ever. I think I've always had like a motherly instinctly instinct or like let me not even say motherly, let me say nurturing. Like I've always loved to cook for people, I've loved to always entertain my loved ones, like I love on them. I will make you food, come into my, I want to make you comfortable, I'll make you drinks and like host you and then we sit around and really like soak up each other's energy. Um, so I've always had that, uh, but I, yeah, I think I just got here fucking honestly.
Speaker 2:Okay, Okay, Wow, I mean that's. That's the the, the big and the small of it. As someone that is a Black person in this country in 2024, what does it mean to be a Black mother raising a Black daughter?
Speaker 1:Oh God, oh, it's so layered. It's so funny because we're dealing with a lot right now. She's 11. So you know that's tweenhood Getto. Let me tell you.
Speaker 2:I bet y'all be.
Speaker 1:Oh, I want to fight, I don't. She's, you know, she's so tender and I'm not, and so she's been the greatest teacher that I've ever had in my life. And right now, while we're in a very transitional time, going into middle school, the hormones are starting to hormone Talk about the changes in the body and all you know and all aspects. I find myself considering so many things, even in like school choices. So we're in the middle of school choices right now. Which one of these three middle schools is she going to go to?
Speaker 1:And I think about a lot of our parents were like, oh, I got to use somebody's address to send you to a better school so you can have better education, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. To send you to a better school so you can have better education, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And as I'm making these not making these decisions, because we talked to her about these decisions, which are things that we didn't have it's so strange to think about all of the factors that have to come into play when we're picking schools. I'm like, okay, this school has less Black students, but they got this gardening program that's going to enrich you in learning how to grow and toil the land and they focus on sustainability. And you know our earth is I'm not going. I know our earth is kicking us off quickly.
Speaker 2:So because earth's going to be and I'm like I get it and I understand.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying, I understand.
Speaker 2:I got strong boundaries, I understand.
Speaker 1:But Earth is kicking us out quickly. So I'm like, okay, well, this is beautiful and it also last school she went to. I'm like, but she could go to the school in the neighborhood where she'll have more of a social scope and, and you know, a wider range of her community and you know. So, thinking about all those different things and how is this going to factor into how she develops? And, like you know, it's things that you, when they're, even when you're pregnant, you're not even really thinking about all of the things that you'll have to think about until you got to think about them. So, yeah, yeah, I hope that answered it did.
Speaker 2:I was listening to Getting Grown the other day, because you know I'll be listening, and you were explaining to Noah because she wants a sibling, and you said, well, we're going to talk about that. And when I was listening to that I was like so glad we're gonna talk about that. And when I was listening to that I was like so glad we're about to have this talk. Because, you know, I think, as black women, people are always like, well, when you about to have a baby, oh, the little ones, I'm like little who, that's wild. Um, you know, there's so much that goes into birthing.
Speaker 2:I had a friend that was a that literally on Monday, was a surrogate, gave birth to the child and the next day she was like girl, I'm up. I said what the hell? And she just she pushed it out, one, the C-section. I said, oh God, and I was just her job, didn't want to give her time off Cause they were like you're not keeping the child. She said I'm sorry, that's not how this works. Like wow, there's so much trauma that goes into giving life. As we're talking about the trauma within these things, can you, can you talk to us about you know, before you get this gift, you know what comes before.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, oh, you want to talk about trauma and a birthing story. I got so much of it. Okay, let me ask for clarification.
Speaker 2:What comes?
Speaker 1:before what specifically the child coming the like? Let me just get clarification.
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, sure sure. The pre and the post.
Speaker 1:Okay, I think, right, my particular experience was traumatic and it does play a huge toll into my decision-making now and everything right. So, as you know, in this country, if you do not have health insurance, you are on Medicaid and along with whatever doctors they have available for you to see and, you know, limited on where you can go, and then again you don't have a choice really of who you can see in those places that you can go. Your healthcare is just not at the top of anybody's priority list. On top of that, when I was pregnant, I was a bartender and so was my husband my husband not my husband at the time, but he was a bartender as well and we both we met at work. So we both worked in the lower Manhattan, which means our job was out of commission for like three weeks, right. So, on top of that, I'm early in my pregnancy, but I start bleeding Now because of this Hurricane Sandy, they have taken all of the patients in the hospitals in Manhattan and sent them out to the outer boroughs of the Bronx and Queens and Staten Island.
Speaker 1:So you can imagine that the hospitals are overthrown with people between a hurricane and all of that. So I'm bleeding. I go to the emergency room. I wait there for six hours in the waiting room. It's a point where I almost got in a fight with somebody, like it was like a whole, and I told my husband I was like, take me home, because if I'm gonna lose this baby, I'd rather do it not in this waiting room. Um, we ended up going to another hospital, which is known for many other issues, but they are actually the ones who helped to save Noah.
Speaker 1:I was having what's called a threatened abortion is what it's called with the bleeding that I was having. So there's no cause for it, there's no reason, there's no cure, it's just, you know, a wait and see type of situation. Now, what's interesting is I told them I was bleeding and that I bartended, and so they were like. I was like am I still good to work? I was going to quit. Around the time I started showing and they're like oh, yeah, yeah, no, you're fine, you're still fine. But I noticed the more that I stood on my feet, the more I was bleeding. And I told them that and they were like no, you're fine. So me the decision for me to stop working, because we noticed that the bleeding was ramping up and the more that I sat down, the less that I bled. So I stopped working.
Speaker 1:So that was all within my first trimester Post having her, you know. Then the rest of it was kind of decent. Went into labor, that was. You know, that was a ride Because I was. So you have a baby at around 38, what is it? Uh, they say that your full term at like 38 weeks. I think 37, 38 weeks. I was 36 weeks. The asked me why I was not more dilated when I went for one of my final appointments and I was like I don't, I don't know, Cause I'm not doing it Like I'm not the doctor.
Speaker 1:I'm not at my due date either, so I would imagine that's probably why I'm not more dilated. He goes, I'm going to help you.
Speaker 2:He sticks his entire forearm.
Speaker 1:Oh, I got armed, whatever that's called. I got four arms is what I got to the point where it was more painful than when I gave birth his whole forearm up to his elbow, inside my whole vagina, just tightened up ran.
Speaker 2:Can't afford for that to happen, remember so that's the inside thing.
Speaker 1:Y'all don't worry about it yeah, no, you may not know, it's not your business. Um, I scream. My husband jump up and fight like it was a whole thing. Right, puts me into this early labor.
Speaker 1:I started having contractions that night this is on a wednesday. I started having contractions that afternoon. By thursday afternoon I went to the hospital. By friday afternoon I had noah, but she also came out with a breathing condition. So I don't know if him doing something prematurely hated in that because she was not fully done developing. Even if it was the last week or two, she still needed that last bit of time to cook, you take a cake out, even just a few minutes, it's not going to be ready.
Speaker 1:So there was all of that trauma. And then on top of that, I was a bartender. So that comes with no health insurance. That comes with no maternity leave, that comes with no. So we are trying to make it by the skin of our teeth. I have to go back to bartending when she is six weeks. So I'm six weeks, my baby is six weeks and I am on the train with my titties leaking to oblivion. I am in the bar with my titties rock hard in pain. I have a pump, but there's no time to go and pump anywhere. So that you know it. Just it was. And it also impacted our funding time, which I think is so essential for birthing parent and child, for birthing parent and child, for both parents and child. But for birthing parent and child, you deserve to have that time to bond, and we did not have that, and so that was some of the trauma of pre and post being a Black woman with no health insurance, because our country doesn't give a fuck, you know, if you're not of a particular economic status.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, yeah as I, you know, I'll be on the tiktoks and swiping and reading the news. I I know too much in the world because of the work that I do. I have two goddaughters, one of them just started middle school, and the fear that I have all the time of just having, first off, two little Jewish goddaughters out the gate. So having them yes, yes, yes, having them and also just having two little girls we know how fast things happen. How do you navigate that? Because when they were born we already had a conversation. So everybody's cool to go to prison if we need to.
Speaker 1:Everyone was like yep, yep.
Speaker 2:How do you fathom with knowing what happens in the world, with knowing who's trying to run for president, grabbing people by the puss and just? Oh my god you know, society, not society, not giving a fuck about women. Like how does that feel as a mother of a black child who you know we are over sexualized people? People's got a lot of feelings and thoughts.
Speaker 1:You know, obviously, speak to Noah often about the multiple genocides that are happening in the world. I speak to her because of the way that that ties back to us as Black people on this land and I'm like I don't want you to get this messed up that these things are different, because they're not. They're a full circle situation. So I try to be very honest with her.
Speaker 1:For me myself, even watching these circumstances and tragedies and atrocities happening, it infuriates me that everybody does not see all of these children as their children and these women as their sisters or their mothers or their men as their fathers, their uncles, their brothers, people as people, people as people in general. Right, yeah, not to make everything binary, like, how do you not just see humans suffering in inhumane conditions? And so, as a Black mother, it it frightens me, but it infuriates me because I don't know how to fix it. There's no way to fix it. So the only thing that I can do is make sure that I'm raising a child, uh, with the awareness of what's going on, so that she can navigate this world fucking way. That she absolutely can, because it's ghetto from jump, and so I don't try to sugarcoat that for her.
Speaker 1:I just I'm like this is what it is and I want you to make. I want you to build your humanity off of knowing the truth about everything. So, yeah, that's kind of how. That's my viewpoint. Yeah, it pisses me off.
Speaker 2:I stay angry. People be like, are you okay?
Speaker 1:I'm like listen.
Speaker 2:I'm like listen. I might be sad, I might be angry, but I'm not ugly. So I don't, you probably can't tell, you probably can't tell.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, crazy, and I've grown right. I don't always act on my anger. I used to act on my anger a lot though shit, you know all kinds of things, but I don't ask for it, baby.
Speaker 2:The last time I punched, somebody, I was 28. Look at us.
Speaker 1:I got in a fight with Noah, was four months at old navy because the bitch was coming at us crazy, had to hand her off to her father and get busy. You know what I'm saying. That's what happens when you're a teen parent. You know what I mean. That's what I say even though I was 28 this is not teen mom.
Speaker 2:what the hell you worked?
Speaker 1:You worked at a bar 11 years ago, I was a fully different person. And so I'm like we had a baby at 27, 28 years old. What you mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's wild, I would never do that now.
Speaker 1:I mean, she deserved to get her ass beat, let's be clear. And today, right now, I would whoop her ass, but with a baby I probably wouldn't. Maybe, we would have talked a little bit first. No, no, no, there was no talking. This bitch was out of mother Like again I would snuff her now. She actually got it easy Back to responsible topics.
Speaker 2:You know what you know what you mentioned community.
Speaker 1:How important and impactful was community raising Noah Like is because it's still a process. I have the most awesome community around me. Noah is surrounded by not only blood family that loves her. She's got her grandparents, who all love her, to death. She's got an aunt who's basically a bonus grandmother because she's there with her grandmother, and my parents also. But my chosen community, my chosen sisters, pour into her and care about her so much and they, like we all look at your children or my children, my children or your children, like I'm going to treat them as such and so I'm just so, so, so, so grateful for the people that I have around me. So, so, so grateful for the people that I have around me.
Speaker 1:We had us a little tween moment on her 11th birthday. On the birthday, at the birthday dinner, I wanted to go spend the spend the night somewhere where I was like not now, I'm not super comfortable with that, not like I was like no good idea and she was having a fit honey and a girlfriend of mine, who is like a sister, took her to the side and had a conversation with her based off of some of her own experiences, but also saw like what, this is a time for me to step in. It wasn't like a let me fall back because you talk to your mom. It was like a let me step in and help my sister and help my niece, because there's a perspective sometimes that they can offer that maybe your child might receive better than from you around me, because I know that she's going to be safe, no matter where she chooses to turn for advice.
Speaker 1:You know a word inspiration ever. And so, yeah, that is my largest flex is my community. It's so important and in this raggedy fucking world, community is going to be the only thing that sustains us. I say it all the time, I agree, it's true. Think about it. It's going to be the only thing that sustains us. I say it all the time, I agree, it's true, think about it.
Speaker 1:It's going to be the only thing. The last thing and that is also this government and these nasty powers that we have aimed to do is to isolate all of us from one another. That was part of, they say, social media, but it's interesting because social media has actually and technology, taken people more inward, to where they're not branching out into community. Think about the amount of kids that are outside with each other. They don't know the other kids in their building or in their neighborhood because they are really trying to design this for us to be isolated. So we have to lean into community and be intentional about the ones that we keep around us.
Speaker 2:We definitely used to be outside smelling like outside. Kids don't smell like smelling like outside.
Speaker 1:Oh not so much so, unless you're intentional with your kids with that. So it's it's sad to see, but it's like OK, I'm looking at this happen. How can I move differently? Okay, I'm looking at this happen. How can I move differently?
Speaker 2:And so yeah, community is so is so important to me and I'm so grateful for it. I think parenting I'm in awe of it again, from carrying a child to growing a human in your body I think that is the baddest thing. I think that is the baddest thing. I don't understand I'm going to pause real quick in the sense of how dare people that don't have vaginas involve us, predominantly men let's just get to it. Men that want to talk all this stuff but have come from the womb of a woman but hate women. That's crazy to me.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's trauma. You asked what trauma is. It's that that.
Speaker 2:Those niggas are. Traumatized is what they are. Give some therapy.
Speaker 1:We were talking about this the other day with certain black men, and not that there's anything wrong with interracial dating. It's your motive, right, it's your intent. And so we were talking about how some of that trauma affects the way that they view you know. You take a Quincy Jones who will never come out of his mouth and say anything bad about Black women. He shows it in a different way. But that's because Quincy Jones was raised by a schizophrenic mother and a grandmother who was that he's one generation removed from slavery. Like what does that come along with, you know, understanding of how they move in this world? You ask me, what trauma is it? Is that it is niggas talking about shit they don't have no business talking about because they're hurt.
Speaker 2:The actual generational trauma? Ok, yes, because that hurts the actual generational trauma. Okay, yes, yes, being a parent to me it's like in those categories of like adulting that I just don't think I have the capacity for. Could I do it? Sure, I could do a lot of things, do I want to? No, but it seems like such a big job, which is where we're going to transition into. I know you've been out here in these streets. Oh yeah, you have had many jobs and many careers in many different areas. Tell us about it because I'm intrigued.
Speaker 1:Oh, God, I went to college in Texas, so I worked for the mayor's office in Texas, okay, which was really fascinating. I speak often about this man named Tame. I call his name every time because I wish the worst for him. He was the deputy chief of staff to the mayor when I was and I worked directly for Terrence, and he was the most rotten, awful nigga that I've ever encountered in my life. I hate you.
Speaker 1:I have prayed to God that if I run into you nigga that I will bust your kneecaps, and God has not let me run into you yet. So amen, but yeah, so there was that. You know I moved to oklahoma and worked for a specific, for an indigenous law firm that represented tribal business. So I, you know, did multiple sins in different law firms, but that was probably the most interesting. Yeah, six months in Oklahoma became a heavy drinker.
Speaker 2:What is there to do?
Speaker 1:I drink. I found an incredible weed man which I was really astonished about. I mean, my job itself was interesting. The legal world is not for me, but that particular realm of it was interesting, to be able to kind of get a different viewpoint of what was going on. That was pretty dope. But Oklahoma itself, no, thank you. Came back up north and, oh shit, worked for the music industry for several different labels Def Jam, rca, jive. That was I really, really that was my. That's what I thought I was going to be doing. I thought I was going to stay in the music industry.
Speaker 1:And then I got laid off because we talk about the shifts and the swings in the system and I was part of those giant shifts and swings. As streaming came into play, a bunch of us out as humans went on into marketing and branding. And marketing worked for several different brands in that realm as a project and production manager different brands in that realm as a project and production manager. And that was my last corporate stint because I'd always had a love for food. My grandmother is a phenomenal, not my mother's mother, my father's mother. She's a phenomenal cook. My other grandma can't cook for shit, but I love the hell out of her. I really do, oh God, but her food's wretched. So I threw my passion into food, which is what I'd always dabbled with catering and shadowing different chefs. But because of having corporate jobs, you know, those were more like passions. So as I started podcasting about 10 years ago and food always being my passion, I would talk about both of them. You know it wasn't a food-based podcast Jayden XZ obviously isn't, it's just a Torres and a Virgo. But I said I'm going to take this more seriously.
Speaker 1:Also fun fact, I never graduated from high school. I got my GED, took myself to community college, took myself to a university after that because I felt like it was wasting my time. It was a lot of fluff and I was ready to work even in college. I went through all four years but I never finished. I went to high school, but I didn't finish, and so I said you know, I would like to do something for myself. And so during the pandemic, even though I'd been doing events and catering and chefing and doing all kinds of things, I took myself to culinary school just for my formal training, and that has been my focus since. It has been podcasting, which was not ever supposed to happen it's never an aspiration and then being able to tie food in there, which won me my first James Beard Award. So you know, you want to talk about something out of you.
Speaker 1:I got affirmed, but it's been. It's not been a linear path by any means Right. I've gone all over the place to find what really brings me joy and satisfaction.
Speaker 2:Yes, ooh, how did you get into the podcasting? My, I literally have a question that says how the hell did you get here? Wow.
Speaker 1:XD comes up so much in this episode, but he was my one of my closest friends in my neighbor and so he would come over all the time. When I was pregnant he was with me every day. So, you know, just be with me. We'd go to the supermarket together and then when Noah was born, he was there all the time. So when Tristan would be at work, xd was the one who was carrying the car seat. We'd go eat, we'd go, you know, do whatever. And he came to me I know it was around six months and said you want to start a podcast, and I had no fucking clue what a podcast was. The first time I'd heard podcast was when my friends Crystal and Fury came out with the read, which was a year prior, and even then those were just I was like they started some internet radio show.
Speaker 1:I don't know. But congratulations, I'm here to celebrate you like look at all y'all now stupid, right.
Speaker 1:So he came to me and said you want to do a podcast. And I said, well, what the fuck is that? He's like you know the the shit that that that marian crystal are doing? And I was like, well, no, I don't want to do that. I was like I'm not stepping on their toes, like he's like that's not. That can be many. There's many radio shows. I was like, well, I like, why no. I was like, well, I like, why no. He was like, well, I think you would be really good.
Speaker 1:And somebody came and approached me about doing a gay podcast because you know, he's the uncle ruckus of homosexuality, uh. And so he was like I don't want to do a fully gay podcast. But I got a home girl who would be perfect. And so I was like, all right, I'll try this shit out for a little while. But it was not a job, it was really something a habit and hobby. Went to the first recording with Noah and Tristan, like we pulled up as a family to go into the studio Like we here so what's up and literally have not stopped since.
Speaker 1:That is how.
Speaker 2:I started podcasting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so it's just.
Speaker 2:The homie was like crazy you free or not, and that's how you got here.
Speaker 1:No, I don't want to do that I know I don't want to do that, and here I am still running my jibs 11 fucking years later.
Speaker 2:Almost so, but like y'all are, y'all are like, like you have been able to finagle, being on the internet, on, you know, these airways into a form of payment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, you're not wrong. Gratitude, gratitude. You're not wrong about that. I can take care of my family and sustain myself, which is not anything I ever thought possible in that way, right, so I'm grateful for that what's the wildest job you've had? Oh, the wildest job I've had. Oh, have I ever had a wild job? Oh, I worked on my uncle's ice cream truck oh cute.
Speaker 2:Well, was he selling ice cream, or?
Speaker 1:wild. Yeah, I would know he would sell ice cream. Now, granted, everybody didn't know, he had, like mad foster spears snow cone ice, but uh, that's all I was like well, what was? He selling I'm sure there was some other things going on.
Speaker 2:Okay, there it is there umest the wildest job?
Speaker 1:Have I ever even had a wild job? I'm wondering, what is a wild job to you?
Speaker 2:How would you classify that?
Speaker 1:I mean you're asking me.
Speaker 2:I know right, Kitty cat club.
Speaker 1:It ain't been, that I can tell you that.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I, I mean a wild job. You don't sit on stage and pop things out your cooch. You know that's wild. Uh, maybe you was like a low-key drug runner back in the day, I don't know. Maybe you, you know, maybe we don't say that out loud, don't even respond. Uh, maybe, yeah yeah, I would not. Maybe you were selling animals, I don't say that out loud, don't even respond.
Speaker 1:Maybe, yeah, I would not, maybe you were selling animals I don't know.
Speaker 1:It was not wild for the nature of the job, it was wild for the people that were around me and, like the circumstances I had to deal with working there, working there, so in college, before actually the job right before the mayor's office, which was kind of a wild job within itself. Honestly. The deputy chief of staff for the mayor, wilston College, for the worst nigga alive, that was pretty wild. Working for this management company, I worked under the South African, the South African Jewish couple, right, who had the most problem analogies known to men. So when I came for my interview, their last name was Reagan Bomb and they would say oh well, you know, welcome, hello, james. Well, you may call us, everybody calls us Mr and mrs. And I was like no, I'm gonna call you mr and mrs reagan, I'm not calling nobody mr and mrs. And I remember we were going out to a property way out somewhere and mrs reagan bomb was sitting in the front seat and it was another black manager named Tim I'm in the back seat and Mrs. This is not funny at all.
Speaker 2:I'm about to laugh. This is oh, no yeah.
Speaker 1:Anybody Nervous Next D knows I'm laughing Shit. I'm not supposed to. But Mrs Regenbaum says to Tim this feels racist. I'm nervous. This Mrs Regenbaum says to Tim oh Tim, if this was 40 years ago, you'd get pulled over from the front seat with you and she giggles. And before I could even control myself I said why the fuck would you say that.
Speaker 2:But like this is not driving, miss Daisy, what are we doing?
Speaker 1:No At all, but that's are we doing instead of just like that. I can't implicate myself by saying what I did, but I definitely sent mrs reichenbaum home for a couple of days before like some wild. Yeah, she went home. You mean, you sent her home. I'm gonna leave it right there. I I feel like the statute of limitations is up, but I'm gonna still leave it alone but um I definitely sent her ass home because I couldn't.
Speaker 1:I couldn't with the wild shit that would come out of her mouth uh so that was probably one of that does sound like a time while this jobs that I had and then that, that fucking mayor's office with that goddamn terrence fontaine too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, every place is wild, like sony was wild, you know music in general k michelle's not allowed to speak about it, but I can't k michelle.
Speaker 1:She was in a. She was in an abusive relationship at the time.
Speaker 2:I will say that yeah, we did note that.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, she's not allowed to talk about that. I am not on a cease and desist. And so you know they used to be arguing, but she used to be drunk running up and down the hallways of Sony on the 13th floor. One day this bitch gets so drunk she takes a Costco-sized, industrial-sized hand sanitizer, throws it at one of my coworkers. I swear to God, swear to God. So I think all my jobs just have like.
Speaker 2:You was like I don't have none. Oh, you know what?
Speaker 1:Wild things follow me, and my sister in we're too. Totally, she's a nurse, but like, have these encounters that are just, they're wild within themselves. I don't think I've ever had a wild job.
Speaker 2:I've always had wild circumstances well yeah, listen as someone that has worked in many mental health facilities and now works in pro wrestling you have a wild job, wild jobs.
Speaker 1:You've had nothing but wild jobs no, it's true, it's true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, even in the sex ed stuff, like when I first got into sex ed, I like was so excited I was 28, you was having a baby and I was going to orgies. You know, we were just on different paths.
Speaker 1:I love that for us. Yeah, still, we use our vaginas well, see, I was a watcher.
Speaker 2:I was sitting up there like, oh my god, what's happening? Guys, I don't know. But a girlfriend I was out here now. Was I a slut, slut bucket? Yes, absolutely, she is slut bucket now, but just I'm tired. So just one person really get it. But but it's interesting. It's interesting how we look at all of these things that have happened to us, like having a child being in these spaces. Something that comes to me in and in both areas and just in general as being a Black person, being a Black woman, is safety. How do you navigate safety in your existence in all of these different spaces, as being a mother, having to go to the school and not tussle with nobody, being on the internet when people want to be acting up, and you know, like, how do you navigate it? You know going outside in Brooklyn, how do you navigate safety internally and externally?
Speaker 1:Yeah, externally, I feel like having a child has made me more cautious in how I move, right before I, you know, I I never I wasn't an instigator of fights, but I was absolutely a finish him girl. You know what I mean. Like I was, like you know I'm not gonna ever start this, but if this is true, let's go. But I find myself being way more cautious in that way because people are out of their fucking minds, self-included, but some people worse, right. So I'm like I don't want to do anything that's going to put me in jeopardy, you know, as a placement in her life and I don't want to do anything. So it's made me more cautious in that way.
Speaker 1:Still listen, still mother lioness, though Like don't, because if it comes to times where I have to defend her, that's what I'm going to do.
Speaker 1:I've had to go up to the school and have uncomfortable conversations where I'm like no girl, I believe my kid and it's not one of those people that thinks their kid can do no wrong, but I know that you're on bullshit right now, adult or not. So making sure that she knows that I have her back, that has to be forefront. As far as myself, you know, I've had to get real, real clear. In the last couple of years just doing I know we overuse but get real clear in that, even in like certain conversations I'll have with my own mother or certain ways that I'll let her interject into my parenting, or certain people that I will allow around me or not allow around me, I told you how important and how intentional I am with community and so I have a lot of fallouts. You know, over the years there's been one or two people who have shown their asses and it's like uh-uh, I gotta put up my release now, whether I love you or not it doesn't absolve you of whatever bullshit you've been on.
Speaker 1:So I think that's how I navigate my safety in this world as a black woman on top of a taser on me and pepper spray, and I will fry you like a piece of catfish.
Speaker 2:It's no problem I just want y'all to know she stay ready. It's on her.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's on her charged on her police grade. Oh, did you get the shooter? Yeah, oh, okay, I I don't them, but it is their grade. So just in case a nigga wants to get silly with me on the road, yeah, you know what?
Speaker 2:Because you know, as you've been out to Los Angeles. Our houseless community is very large and drugs are thriving and safety outside. You know it's as someone that you know volunteers and works with an org in LA, seeing how quickly you know safety can switch up on you. You'd be having a good time. You feed somebody. Now they didn't threw coffee at you, didn't called you a nigger. Let me tell you, I've been on the street. I had to walk away. They're like why are you crying? I say because because I want to fight but I cannot fight a houseless person.
Speaker 1:But I can tell you racist as shit and you not getting nothing for me today, which is so crazy, it's so nutty right and I feel so bad because, again, you all like losing is is just uh um, it's a component of how awful our system is, how they don't give a fuck about people with with mental health challenges, with, uh emotional challenges, uh, veterans, even though I think the military is the worst entity known to men, but y'all still don't get you and fuck you up.
Speaker 1:You have fucked up. Um, you know they houseless people like they don't give a fuck but a a racist houseless person.
Speaker 2:Okay, great, same page, because how are you mad at me?
Speaker 1:and I'm young and broke, you know what I'm saying. I was at sony, I was at lunch and I walked over, I think, to Avenue which was the next avenue, over, and there was a black houseless man on the corner with his cup, you know, and he is pleasant, and I said, I'm sorry, my brother, I don't have no cash on me, like I don't even have any change. And that's when I said you black bitch, you black bitch. And when I tell you, I screamed in laughter and pissed him off even more, because what?
Speaker 1:Oh, I hollered, I hollered, I hollered. I was like you know what? My brother like. I'm not even gonna do this with you. But yes, back to your original topic. You, I would imagine that that, even though you understand the why, that doesn't keep you from having to. You know, watch your back and keep yourself protected.
Speaker 2:No safety in general is wild outside. We we're going to get back with the. A weeks ago I had a millennial day. I had a millennial day.
Speaker 1:Are you listening to Nelly?
Speaker 2:No, I'm going to tell you what happened. Shut the hell up, I'm not, you know what. Remind me to tell you about him when we get off, because he's on a list I'm working on. Remind me, but remind me, it's tea, okay.
Speaker 1:I will.
Speaker 2:But so I okay guess the movie of what my day was inspired by. So I go to get gas at Costco.
Speaker 2:I'm having a great time Like ooh, gas go. I go to leave but wait to the end of the day for you to guess the movie. I go to leave my key snaps in the ignition with the car on. I said I don't know. I said I don't know. So I reached over and grabbed my weed and I hit my vape and I said okay, mood. I said okay, self. I got the Costco people. I said I'm so sorry. He said it's fine, put some cones, got me some water, so nice. Called AAA. They said it'll be four hours and $500. I said, oh, I don't have. I have the five, but I don't have that.
Speaker 1:AAA has been affected by the inflation $500.
Speaker 2:$500.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God day. I go see my friend. She's hosting an award show at a sex toy expo. See, my life is different. It's all the sex toys in the world, just in the space they got their new stuff. It's the time I got a mushroom vape pen. Remind me to show you that when we finish I'll show you. You got to take notes of things you got to remind me. We do the show. We do the show. We go to dinner.
Speaker 2:I am driving home having a great. I'm like we had a delicious dinner. I'm driving through downtown Los Angeles. I'm going under an underpass. So when I'm driving I like to be in cruise control, because if I start getting into my music I slow down. I can't be doing 60 in LA, so I put it on. I go to switch lanes. I go to switch lanes and I'm slowed down a little bit and out is 1030 pm and I'm going under an overpass.
Speaker 2:Well, what happens was darkness fell because someone threw a fucking scooter off the overpass. Darkness fell because someone threw a fucking scooter off the overpass and the only thing that saved me is I had just switched lanes. So it fell directly in front of my car and snatched that shit back. So the bottom part of the right side of my car is fucked up. It's still messed up because I want six hundred for some plastic. It's fine, we'll figure it out, okay.
Speaker 2:So the frame of the car is good. The bottom the fog lights ripped off. Somehow. There's a huge dent on the side of the passenger door underneath it. And I am driving and I'm just like are you fucking? Is this real life? Is this real life? And I'm driving and I call my partner and I was like you sleeping. He was like yeah, I said get up. What? What do you mean? A scooter? I said a scooter fell. It was like darkness fell and so safety looks like I'm just going to drive home. I just kept driving and I got out the car and I got out and I was like this is crazy, this is crazy that is endless like okay, what movie as a millennial?
Speaker 2:what movie? Final Destination? Absolutely, absolutely absolutely millennial.
Speaker 1:I, my first one was gonna be set it off, because after that nigga, I am shooting up everything like I'm robbing it, because like I'm over it, fuck everybody. No, yeah, that was final destination, all god, you see. And I don't even drive behind those big trucks with those big metal things on the back of them.
Speaker 2:But a scooter falling off the overpass is absolutely nuts yeah, everyone was like did you call the police? I said, for what, or what am I gonna say?
Speaker 1:over policing in this goddamn country. What the fuck I'm gonna call them niggas for? So they come shoot me because the scooter fell off the overpass.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely, not absolutely now imagine that headline I didn't got shot because somebody didn't fuck. That's crazy you're, I'm not gonna be a hashtag.
Speaker 1:Just as crazy we've seen. Just as crazy. Oh, somehow you had to have made that scooter fall over your head and now you're going to throw the scooter at us. So we're going to shoot you. No, we're not calling the police. I'm sorry. I was like darkness fell out.
Speaker 2:No, it's true, but also I was like why am I calling the police? And I remind people, policing was created because of slavery. Therefore, they are not helpful to anything they like to show up after and get in the business and fuck shit up. Let's have the real conversation.
Speaker 1:Don't get me on my shit, because you know I'll go there, and that is not the theme today.
Speaker 2:Listen, it's not. It's not, we're going to get back. I just had to tell you safety, it fluctuates. Yeah, no, it's not. It's not, we're going to get back. I just had to tell you safety, it fluctuates.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it does. And safety, it's such a spectrum right, Because this is not somebody actually coming after you. No, it's darkness. This is literal, just circumstance, it's just darkness, it's darkness, everybody. Oh, poor boo. Did your day get better after that? I imagine?
Speaker 2:you didn't make it to the sex toy convention. Oh no, I did, you did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, jimineka, jimineka you are well.
Speaker 2:The scooter was after the car. The key snapped was first.
Speaker 1:Okay but you got that fix on site. Yeah, the scooter was after the award ceremony.
Speaker 2:Yeah, copy okay, yeah okay, so this is another place when you come. We got to go to the prince. It's old school LA. The chicken is a Korean fried chicken. You're in, okay, yeah, yeah, so it's a schedule to be a schedule, it's a schedule. I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm all the way in.
Speaker 2:I have three more questions. Three more questions Self-care how does Jade take care of herself balancing all of this stuff?
Speaker 1:I smoke a lot of weed. I smoke a lot of weed. I can smoke your daddy under the table. I could smoke your uncle under the table. Um, I can go toe to toe with whiz or Snoop. Uh, I smoke a lot of weed and it really just keeps me very in all of the chaos of everything else that I can't control. I can control my blunts. Wow, that's often my answer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's, that's really like. That's my number one girlfriend, that's my number one ground there. But I also, I, I, I do a lot of organizing and cleaning because it actually keeps me like, yeah, I am, I am, like I am it's a disgusting Virgo stereotype that I hold, but I am, I am a cleaner and an organizer and it like keeps me in a place, calm and doing things, and it also keeps my head clear, right, because when things get chaotic, you know me, I I get chaotic, so I gotta keep things in a way, but I actually enjoy doing that wow, not my gemini ass, absolutely not.
Speaker 1:Keep it to yourself y'all are busy, though, and I find gemini is like I love gemini's, because you all are not scared to try everything. I'm the trier everything yeah yeah, everything. The gemini's that I know are not scared to try anything and you guys delve into what and you do it right. You don't do shoddy shoddy shit right, you get into what you're like oh, this nigga is a black belt and taekwondo now Like that's nuts. So I love Gemini's, I love the energy that you all possess, because I don't have it.
Speaker 2:You've got to look at a full chart, though, because some of us yeah, yeah, yeah, gemini. Cancer Aries. Okay, she's got the full spectrum.
Speaker 1:You're balanced, but you got a lot going on.
Speaker 2:Try me, yeah, yeah, you're balanced, but you got a lot going on. Try me, yeah, yeah, try me if you want to.
Speaker 1:A lot going on over there.
Speaker 2:I do, I did, I did. That's not what today is about, jade, but she be busy, she be busy.
Speaker 1:Yes, she be busy and her pendulum swings in all directions.
Speaker 2:Listen, I love that. Something that I've been thinking about, um, something I've been thinking about for myself, uh, a lot lately, is like legacy and like how do I want to be remembered? And what I came up with for myself is I want to be remembered for showing up. What do you want to be remembered for?
Speaker 1:That's a good question. I think the same thing, which is why I do show up. I think that's what drives me showing up, back to that aspect, really pouring into people in whatever way, that I do that and I think I will be remembered that way. I want the people around me to know that I love them, whether I know them or not. You know what.
Speaker 1:I'm saying that love comes with challenging conversations, honest conversations. That love comes with challenging conversations, honest conversations. That love comes with showing up. That love comes with healing you know, helping someone in their own healing. That love comes in so many forms. There's so many ways to show up and I think that not to copy off of you, but that's what I would. I want to be remember, showing up as a, as a, as a good person, like a person who gave a fuck about other persons.
Speaker 2:OK, we're going to go left real quick, because you just said I'd be swinging, so and then we have the last question, then we're going to be messy. But as someone who doesn't really fuck with everybody, like people think I do but I don't I'm very, I'm very picky about who's around me, cause energy is so important, especially with the work that I do.
Speaker 1:And okay, this is where it goes left.
Speaker 2:So I'd be thinking about my funeral and I knew it was going to be here. I'd be thinking about my funeral and I I saw like shannon doherty had wrote like a list of people that can't come, they can't get in, and I said, bitch, I was thinking about a list that you can't come. Why are you here? She didn't want you here yeah, are you gonna have a list of people that can't come in?
Speaker 1:um, I have a short, potent list anyway, uh, of niggas out busting the kneecaps in general, and I don't think that they would try to show up to my feud. It's short but it's potent, like I feel, very strong people that are on there. I, while I I heard shannon doherty was a terrible person, but I also found that particular move to be absolutely legendary. It made me laugh, as you can see, I can't stop laughing about it. I laughed from the moment. Every time it comes to my mind when someone brings it up I think it's hilarious and I love it as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would hope that the people. It's funny. Okay, let me tell you a short story. A home girl of mine told me recently that when she like when we're all together she's one of my and when we're all together, somebody else will hit her up and say oh, you're kind of close with Jade. I can never tell if she likes me or not Every time I'm around her and I have no clue who this person is.
Speaker 1:she won't tell me, but so I told a couple of our other friends in that same like oh, well then if they don't know that you probably don't.
Speaker 2:I was like I probably don't.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty kind Right right, I'm a kind person, I'm never gonna okay, are you nice? No, but I'm kind I fame. I don't think I'm that nice. So, like, kind, absolutely people you're, you're back, does that? I'ma greet you. You know what I'm saying? Somebody comes up, I'm not gonna be nasty to you.
Speaker 1:I'm a human, so like, I don't know what I'm in the middle of, which is why, from time to time, I'll ask people like was I nice to you what I meant? Well, you know, was I decent to you what I meant, you? But, um, for the most part I'm a kind person and and, and if I don't fuck with you, it is for something specific. You have rubbedbed me wrong in some form or another. That doesn't mean everybody was rubbing me wrong. I don't fuck with you know some people you end up finding later on like, oh, this is you know, that's how we became friends, that's our origin story. But there's a couple of people who have rubbed me wrong and I'm like, ah, get them out of here.
Speaker 1:I don't want nothing to do with that person. I don't care if you fuck with them I don't, I don't want to, I don't want to do it. Um, so, with that, I I yes, I think I am kind not nice. I forgot what your question was, but I think I answered it. You're gonna have a list.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, yes am.
Speaker 1:I gonna have a list?
Speaker 2:yeah, probably not because they know not to come over here. Well, I also thought about this, because I also thought about how I want my afterness to be. I want to be made into jewelry.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, I would like to be a strain. Oh, I'm not surprised by this. Use my ashes and fertilize me to relax hundreds of thousands of niggas. Honestly, yes, it makes me a strain.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know what you should become? Oh, put some of that in some mushrooms.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hello, let me be your medicine.
Speaker 2:Yes, Wow, wow, right now, that's wild.
Speaker 1:I like that that.
Speaker 2:Wow, wow, right now, that's wild. I like that. That's going to be so the last question of the show. I asked the same question to everyone, since we we fluctuate, talking about hard things and whatnot. This question is cause I'm nosy and I think we should end in a little laughter, okay. What is the wildest thing that someone has texted, emailed or DMG in the last two weeks, and wild is perspective oh, in the last two weeks.
Speaker 1:All right, let's look we've had some very interesting answers.
Speaker 2:It's's been a time.
Speaker 1:I'm like people don't really say too many crazy things to me. Let's see, oh, this is boring. Oh, my mother, she sent me a picture of her fucking ankle. She sprained it. It that's not wild. No, that's sad it is. But you know she just be Okay, I found it. It's T-Boz dancing with a trash bag. That's sort of weird Glad ass. Hold on, I'll show you why?
Speaker 2:what is exactly? Oh, it's because chili out here with matthew and she don't have nobody to talk to. Matthew who Lawrence? You know, chili with one of the Lawrences. Wait, whoa.
Speaker 1:Joey, wait what? No, the middle brother of the okay, hold on who the hell is his name?
Speaker 2:no, I thought his name is Matthew, the middle one. There's three of them.
Speaker 1:Matthew. Lawrence, I was like I think that's who Chili's with oh okay, oh yeah, and that's one of the pictures that popped up. Well, that's random. Yes, he was the son of Mrs Doubtfire.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, they've been together for a few years.
Speaker 1:Oh, I had no clue. Well, I don't know what that has to do with miss mama's dancing with this trash bag but I just, you know your friend's busy. I received that and I was like what the why? Just same way, I was like what the fuck is this and why? So yes, that's probably the wildest thing I've gotten.
Speaker 2:I want y'all to go look that up, because that was crazy. Um, this has been so fun, like I I knew it was going to be, so thank you. Thank you for having me, please, please, and there's more. We just going to turn this off, okay, before we get out of here, where can he, she, they them, zz, everybody, honey, where can they find you, get your business, support you.
Speaker 1:Oh, you can find me sometimes on Instagram. I don't post a lot, but I do post stories, most of them being political. The girls are irritated with me because I used to post a bunch of bullshit that made me laugh, but now you know it's really about genocide. So if you want to know about what's going on with that, I'm usually usually posting something about that. Uh, sometimes I'm on tiktok, um, with a random thought as it comes to my head, like when I first learned about gina curls, which is like very curl 2.0, yes.
Speaker 2:so you know audacity and it's a white woman.
Speaker 1:It's fascinating to me. But anyway, Jade of all Jades. Everywhere is Jade of all Jades. I am not on Twitter anymore, Uh, so you can't find me there, Um, and you can find me every week on and Jade and XD. I am slightly problematic, but never out to hurt anybody, so I don't. I try not to be harmful, but I I do toe the line. Have a good time.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, at least you know yourself, at least you know yourself, I do. Well, until next time, y'all.
