Trauma Queen
"The Trauma Within" is a weekly podcast hosted by Jimanekia, a Trauma and Sexual Assault expert, queer media consultant, and comprehensive sex educator. Join us as we normalize conversations about life's most challenging experiences, from sexual assault to mental health and beyond. Discover stories of resilience, expert insights, and a safe space for discussing some of life's most complex topics. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/traumaqueen/support
Trauma Queen
The Trauma Within Exploring Identity and Travel as a Queer Black Woman W/ Tracy
Do you have any questions, any comments about the episode? Jimanekia would love to hear from you!
Have you ever wondered how identity and travel intersect in the life of a queer Black individual? Join us for an engaging conversation with Tracy, a dynamic product education director and certified sex educator at COTR, Incorporated. Tracy invites us into her world, where the journey of self-acceptance and advocacy for sexual health meets the unique challenges faced by people of color while exploring new territories. From personal tales of solo travel to Las Vegas to the realities of navigating predominantly white spaces, Tracy shares the layers of discomfort and enrichment that come with stepping outside one's comfort zone.
As we unpack Tracy's extensive travels, we delve into the complexities of maintaining safety and personal boundaries while on the road. Whether it's using location-sharing features for peace of mind or tactfully explaining her profession in the adult toy industry to diverse audiences, Tracy offers her strategies for navigating life's transitions with grace and humor. We explore how the transformative power of travel can inspire BIPOC individuals to embrace their authentic selves, fostering a supportive community that respects all gender identities and sexualities.
Finally, we tackle the stress and security concerns inherent in frequent travel, especially when racial dynamics add another layer of complexity. Tracy candidly shares her experiences of feeling vulnerable yet finding solidarity among fellow travelers of color. From thoughtful discussions on racial profiling to the importance of understanding travelers' rights, this episode is a heartfelt exploration of finding safety and joy amidst diversity. Join us in this powerful narrative that aims to empower listeners to travel with confidence while celebrating their identity every step of the way.
Thank you all for listening. Set a boundary with yourself this week, set a boundary with someone else. If someone else does not respect that boundary. LET THEM LOOSE YOU! Stay hydrated internally and externally. We do not have an ashy family.
IG: @The_Trauma_Within
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thetraumawithin
Jimanekia Ig: @Jimanekia
on a mission to spread her sex positive skills and education. At a national level, tracy's career path has led her to cotr, incorporated, where she serves as a product education director and certified sex educator, working alongside company founder and CEO, alicia Sinclair, tracy is proud to represent the female led manufacturer of cutting edge premium pleasure products brands, with her sights set on promoting sexual health and wellness, self-care and acceptance of all gender identities and sexualities for all ages. Tracy's future goals include educating their community in addition to the adult industry. Tracy believes that by embracing oneself sexually and sharing that with a partner or partners, that is the key to a happy sex life. Her motto is share love, give and receive unlimited pleasure. Y'all, tracy Fabulous. I'm excited for this conversation. I think it's right on time because both of us got trips coming up, so always stay ready. So my first question to you I think it might be the first question, and the last question of the show is all my favorites. So the first question is who are you?
Speaker 2:That is a great question. Who am I? I am a person that lives in Detroit and am recently married. Detroit and am recently married. I like for work purposes sex educator product education director for the company called COTR.
Speaker 2:I'm also a yoga teacher as well. Teach hot yoga, 26 and 2. It's such a grounded experience to say like for someone to ask me who am I right? But I think I am a person that really has experienced so much from moving out of Philadelphia, traveling in general, since I started traveling for this company, and just like since I started traveling for this company and just like identifying myself as queer black no-transcript, that I think that I am that person of just like change and constantly evolving while we are experiencing so much right now, like so much. So I think that's who I am. Of course, you know, of course, again, that queer black woman that also identifies with pronouns, with they, them as well, because there's times when I do not feel my femininity and there's times when I also don't feel my masculinity. I just feel and be so being that person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just existing.
Speaker 2:You know, just like being alive right now it's hard, it's hard, it's hard.
Speaker 1:How did we meet?
Speaker 2:I think it was at a trade show, the big manufacturing trade show that we have in LA in Amney. It's called Amney and you were with the Spectrum team. Shout out to Spectrum, shout out to Jolie, shout out to Dirty Lola. You were coming in with the crew and y'all sat down and had a meeting with our founder, alicia Sinclair. That finds the created a COTR, and you were just like hi, like what's up? And I was like hello, and you just like had this light and ball of energy and just like talk to me Like we have. We were just picking up from last week, two days ago and I'm like who is this person?
Speaker 2:and they're like oh, this is jim, and nika um she's trauma I don't work, I know right, she doesn't work for spectrum like. She's just like so clean and that was the other thing. I was just like I want to be around these. I was like this is like honing in on on like who family is, and I was just like this is like the family, this is the tribe that I've like been striving to be like. Oh, I gotta be a part of this tribe. I'm strong, strong, powerful women.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yes, and also gets up my weirdness vibes too.
Speaker 2:So that was the other thing I'm weird, we're cute and weird, we're weird out these streets. We be cute and weird out here in these streets. And, um, you just started talking to me, like like we were just talking yesterday or just like continuing the phone conversation, and I was just so drawn to your energy and your spirit and that smile and the gap and like the whole, like I was just like, oh, this is me, you, you me, I'm you, you, me, me, you. Like that's how we were and I think I'm pretty sure that's how we met.
Speaker 1:And from there I was just like I want to be around you and like say let me tell you, when Tracy gets in her bag and she gets giggly, she just be popping up next to you like I'm'm here, let's go. I'd be like, uh-uh, who activated her? Who gave her some? Who gave her tequila? Who gave her a beverage? She activated. That is very true.
Speaker 2:It's like a button gets pushed somewhere. I love it.
Speaker 1:I love between you and Dirty Lil. I'd be like stop giving them shit.
Speaker 2:Yes, don't give them candy, don't give them candy.
Speaker 1:It's true, it's true.
Speaker 2:What does trauma mean to you? The feeling of it is the meaning. For me, it starts there.
Speaker 2:It makes me constipated, it makes me dehydrated, it gives me anxiety, it gives me insomnia, really, really bad and as I get older and I'm walking into perimenopause, it's even more heightened because of just the sensitivity, the remembrance of trauma or triggers that just like happen, non-intrusive or intrusive, right, right and um, yeah, it's, it's the in the meaning of trauma to me means like there is a lot of feeling going on in the body, a lot of unrest, and it really just it. It's just a shitty feeling, like you feel like you're sick, like you feel like you're ill, you're gonna vomit or not vomit, and it really just makes me feel just all of the negative, the ooey gooey, like I don't want to be a part of that, like it just sits there and just is like that.
Speaker 2:So I think that's the meaning for me. It's really about the meaning of feeling and trauma and the awareness of it, like how can we like what am I doing to like focus on relieving it or like getting away from it, being around, like you know, just removing myself from that space?
Speaker 1:Well, today we're talking about something we do all the time baby TWB. And if y'all don't know what that is you about to learn today, okay, message will be delivered. Twb is Traveling While Black, and you know what we is Black we black, we is black.
Speaker 2:If you didn't know, we's black. Surprise, surprise. If you heard me on a podcast, shocker.
Speaker 1:I can't See. I already knew this was going to be a time today, and I love it. I'm so excited. Traveling has been something that I didn't really start doing as much until I got into, like, the sex ed industry when I was like 28. Mom was about to be 37. And by the time you hear this, I will be 37. You could still send birthday gifts, but I didn't know what it really was like, and then I started traveling by myself, which is a whole nother journey. So my first question out of like getting into this traveling is what was the first trip that you ever took that you can remember?
Speaker 2:Oh, before before being in the industry, or Just when you was black. Oh, just when I was black. Okay, wow, um, it was a child. You know what? I'll start with my one of my favorite ones my childhood trips with my mom and my sister. My mom is single mom and raising two young little black girls worked a lot um, we didn't travel much. If we did, we probably went to like the jersey shore, because I'm from philadelphia originally in south jersey, so, um, traveling to the jersey shore, wildwood, those places, they were probably the most um like fun things to do, because it was only like a 45 minute, you know, quick drive um to the to the shore. Um, memorable moments. Um, but I think my most um favorite moment um was doing more like staycations. Um, so my mom would surprise my sister and I and take us to a really nice hotel and we would just, and it was just like like within like 20 minutes, 15 minutes of where we lived.
Speaker 2:And it was just that wonderful experience of like going somewhere where it was just like we didn't have to clean, we didn't have to cook, we didn't have like those you know responsibilities or day-to-day responsibilities at all, just to like just really relax. And there was a pool and there was a restaurant next door to it and like we lived our quote unquote lavish life of like going to these hotels and just like having our staycation. And I think that was the most memorable times because that's when my mom was just like, if Ication, and I think that was the most memorable times because that's when my mom was just like, if I can't get us out there because I can't afford it, I'm gonna get us somewhere. And that was like your first hotel experience was just really memorable for me and I just appreciated it so much because I was just like this is not my home. This is a new home that I can like. This is this is not my home.
Speaker 2:This is a new home that I can create, tear up, make a mess, um, and then walk out and be like oh someone else is going to clean it for me, like, oh you know um getting into the pool and staying in there for hours on end, you know? Eating you know, fancy foods or just something basic like a cheeseburger and watching movies on the TV.
Speaker 1:And then we just go home, like the next day, and we just be like.
Speaker 2:that was the most funnest experience for me and I still love it to this day where, like I think about that, where I go to a hotel and I'm just like man, this is something that my mom was able to create for us and really make just a blooming experience out of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember when I was younger we would go to Texas Okay, because that's where my elder lady, my boo Cheryl, that's where our family was from and I'd be like, why do we have to keep coming to this hot ass place? But those memories and being able to look back and like see it, yeah, like the photos and shit, like that is like you, like you said, those are like the small things that like we hold on to.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But also it it kind of felt like when I was younger, and maybe for you as well, that it felt like like traveling was a bit classist because it wasn't always affordable. Like I remember like growing up and kids were like, oh, we went away for like two weeks and blah, blah, blah, and I'm like two weeks Right, y'all was just catching flights for two weeks. That's wild.
Speaker 2:Right, like you don't have to go to summer camp camp, like someone doesn't have to, like stay home and watch you like like the the adventures. Or like you can go to disney world for like two weeks like girl, not me I still ain't been to disney world I don't want to go I don't want to attend, okay.
Speaker 1:Well, guess what? I guess what I'm not. I'm not going to call you when I book it, that's okay. Traveling has been such an interesting thing. When was the first time you traveled by yourself?
Speaker 2:I think it was. I think it was when I went through my first divorce or separation with my very first husband. I only have two now. This is my second one, so I'm trying.
Speaker 2:There was like oh, how many I know. No, no, no. Second one, and it's grounded and here it's dead. I went to Vegas for the first time and I wanted to move there. I wanted to live like a Vegas showgirl, like you know, live the entertainment lifestyle and the desert was calling. Also had like a very favorite book, which is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S Thompson.
Speaker 2:So just like, I guess, rebelling a lot, like letting go and doing whatever the hell you wanted to do out in Vegas because it was the city of sin, and then be like I can live here and like, do all of the things and party the rest of my life and I remember that was my first time because I was. Also I rented a car for the first time. I did not know about insurance and all this other scamming things that car rental companies do, Like there was just so many things and traveling on a plane and like I was just like, okay, this is, this is a vibe. I don't know if I want to stay here in Vegas, but this is definitely something that called out.
Speaker 2:Vegas is something it literally called out to me. Now as now. I have good friends that live out to me. Vegas is something it literally called out to me Now. I have good friends that live out there. Would I live there now? Absolutely not. I have good friends that live out there. They do fantastic out there. I freaking love them and I commend them for doing it, but for me, I don't know, not so much.
Speaker 1:I've aged out of that Interesting thing.
Speaker 2:I go to bed at 8.30 and be like I've aged out of that interesting thing. Yeah, I go to bed at like 8.30 and be like whoo, I've lived. I've lived Seeing the things.
Speaker 1:I always ask my friends because I'm only recording with my friends and people that I really adore, because I get to learn new things about them I always ask like, what do you want to talk about? Because I don't want to be like, come on, we're going to talk about this. Because I don't want to be like, come on, we're going to talk about this. And you're like what girl? Today you fielded it and you was like traveling while black.
Speaker 2:What brought you to want to talk about that today? So I've been traveling a lot. Like last year I did like a lot of retailer tours. You was out, I did like 70 tours, like 70. Look, I'm not Beyonce and I don't know how she even does it. You know she's rich.
Speaker 1:Well, that too yeah.
Speaker 2:There's a lot to play in that I'm a little poor, okay, but I still travel, like that, you know. In any case, you got a full staff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a dog. That's In any case, I got. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a dog.
Speaker 2:I think that I traveled so much that, like my experiences of being in places that were just like at least terrifying or like, why did I make this decision? Why did I make this decision to go, or, you know, you, you know, for work you have to be there and you're just like, you know, never again in certain spaces, but just like the things that I've seen and the places I've been, and again, just like reverting back to me, it's being like that chameleon of being able to be in spaces where there was maybe some trauma and there was also just pleasure at the same time. You know so, and with me being the only person in my family that really travels, has been, you know, works in the adult industry. It's very eye-opening and it's also kind of I don't want to say addictive, but it's a runner's high. You want to do it more and more and more and more you want to see the world, more you want to study the world, more you want to meet new people, you want to try new things, eat foods, have pleasure in different places the world, more. You want to meet new people, you want to try new things, eat foods you know, have pleasure in different places, like shit in different places, like the whole nine, like there's a lot of things right, taking yoga in different places too, um, and that that is my safe space, my yoga is my safe space.
Speaker 2:So, um, knowing that I have those spaces available for me to go out and do this stuff, I think it's important to continuously talk about it. When people are especially people of color BIPOC people, black people are thinking about getting into this, into travel. Yeah, and we see this now on the internet of, like you know, black travel feeds and stuff like that. I, I it's like where is? Like it's fun to put all the reels up, but like, where's the real, real, like what do I need to really prepare myself if I'm going into this space? That some of these people don't even speak english, like the fuck. Like. So, really, I think it was important to have this conversation about this so people don't feel, don't get fear, but they're just more like aware, and awareness is that's the key.
Speaker 1:That's the key of it. When you say you did 70 tours last year, cause that number already just sounds wild. What does that mean Like? What does that look like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that looks like um, a tour can consist of like I can be in a city or state where I, you know, just like tour, just like a um, a musician or comedian or you know a writer, activist, anybody that you know tours around where they're just really taking over you know certain cities and performing right or educating. And then that's what I do, like I go to different retailers, stores that carry our products for B-Vibe, luana the cowgirl, and talk about, you know, product education, product knowledge, help build sales, help with merchandising. Also talk about sex ed 101, just the basics. So that way people feel comfortable, excuse me, that are coming into this space that are selling these items that you know they also feel grounded, that they are selling these pieces that you know they can talk about confidently, consensually and you know make some good selling numbers, especially if you're and you know make some good sailing numbers, especially for commission.
Speaker 2:You can make some really good money off of selling some sex toys nowadays, slinging dicks, slinging dicks and things, Slinging dildos.
Speaker 1:You know, I used to say, like what you've been up to, I'm like you know the same thing, Just traveling and slinging dildos. Like what now? You said what.
Speaker 2:Dildo like what? Now you said what dill, dill a doe a dial a doe a dial, though.
Speaker 1:Do people like when, when you're out traveling, and people like, oh well, what do you do? Do people have like a gasp?
Speaker 2:and they're like, oh my god yeah, I think that in this, in this space, I now even more so again, traveling while black and being in an industry that is heavily either scrutinized or praised, right, you got to find I found like tricks of the trade to where, like, if I do not feel like I'm in a safe space or in a safe conversation or I'm not giving you my consent to even talk about the job that I do, then I find ways to like reword what I do.
Speaker 2:So like, let's just say, on a basic level, on a non-sexual or a non-pleasurable level, people ask, like what do you do for a living? I say, oh, I sell small motored parts. Know, I go around educating stores and really talk about the motored parts and the functions and the features, so that way they can be able to sell, you know, these items to different people, consumers. Um, and I was in, I was in oklahoma when I, I remember, had to say that recently and I felt bad because when I continued to have the talk with the person he was a white gay man and I did not know he was gay until, like, later on down the line.
Speaker 2:I was like I'm sorry, wait a minute, let's start back off. Do you need something for your home? Yes, yes. Then I was like let's start back all over again.
Speaker 2:Be about it Right, right, like let's, let's start back, right, right, and I, I was in that space where, like, it was like um, a whole bunch of like um, what was it was an auction going on and there was a whole bunch of white men and you know they were selling like oiled items, small motored parts that were like cost billions of dollars, like the whole nine, and I was just like this is like middle america, like I'm by myself. I need to be careful of like what I say. You know um, where, as opposed to, if I'm like in New York and I'm at this like poshy, you know restaurant, and I'm sitting at the bar and the bartender is, you know, giving vibes and I'm giving vibes, then I'm going to be like, okay, so this is, this is the tea, this is exactly what I do. You know sex educator, product education, know, director for this company. You know, I'll even add in, like I'm a yoga teacher, because sometimes even a yoga teacher can be very, can be exploited. You know, in a space where you know people can fetishize. You know someone that is flexible, as opposed to like understanding the word strong. Okay, check yourself, be careful, cause I will still protect you and Jack you. Okay, I will one or the other. Okay, I will help you protect your neck, but I will still Jack your neck and it is but giving that person like then giving consent for myself to be able to feel like checking the boxes Am I in a safe space?
Speaker 2:Am I in a public space? Where is my room? Am I hydrated? Am I not drinking, like all of those things to make sure before I walk into that space. And saying like who I am? That's kind of like I figure out, like what I tell people into that space. And saying like who I am, that's kind of like how I like figure out, like what I tell people in that space. I mean, in Europe, just an example, no one talks about what you do. Like that's rude to ask someone what do you do?
Speaker 1:It really is.
Speaker 2:So, like I appreciate Europe in that space because then, like I don't have to feel judged, that person can ask me who I am and find out who am I right, as opposed to like what I do for a living.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we definitely lean into like how do we make money? And it's like a status thing. It's like well, what do you do? Let me see what you do. But in other places they're like how do you find joy? And we're always like wait what you want to just know what makes me giggle hold on. I didn't wow, I didn't know.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for asking right, right, let's talk about fashion, let's talk about your style. What do you think about this food? Like you know, such a beautiful day and like we'll we'll talk like for hours, just about, like weather, you know, and I really appreciate that in being in those spaces because, like you know, here it's just like everything's about capitalism, and it really is, and it's a mess.
Speaker 1:When did you get your first passport, uh?
Speaker 2:that's a good question too. I think I was in I know I was in my twenties. It was when I was with my first husband. We went to Mexico and we needed to get a passport and went to play at one of the playas Playa del Carmen or something like that, and we needed a passport, and I remember my first one being in Mexico and I was just like this is pretty, this is pretty jazz. Like this is cool.
Speaker 1:Most of my family hasn't like traveled, yeah same. And so, like the idea of me getting a passport, they were like what are you getting a passport for?
Speaker 2:I said so I can leave.
Speaker 1:Exactly what do you mean? And it was like it's wild that that, like I think about it now and like I knew people growing up, they would just, like you know, be outside and I I just was like, before I turned 30, I need to make sure I have a passport. Like I felt like I had to set that goal for myself because it wasn't around me. Yeah, and then, like trying to help my family get passports, they're like, well, I don't really need one. I was like you might like let's try.
Speaker 2:And it was when I got married. We decided to cause. We were like we're not inviting like 300 people, I'm not paying for this ridiculous, you know wedding fees. But to each his own. Whoever wants to do it like, go for it, but it's just not. It's just not.
Speaker 2:For me, it was just like okay everyone like I had saw my family like we're getting married in Mexico, you have to get a passport, and they were just like what I'm? Like, yeah, we're going to go outside of the country and experience some things and I think I feel like I'm. I'm definitely the catalyst of the family black sheep, for sure, catalyst, definitely. People live a lot of vicariously through me. That's the other thing. So it was definitely something where I was just like if you're not joining in on this, then you're going to miss out and that's on you. However, I did have family that came and they enjoyed it and now they're just like I'm so glad that I have a passport. I get to, you know, you know, experience spaces where I've never thought I would even think to do. And if people like people in like south jersey philly area, we like just go to jersey shore like we good, we good, that's all we need.
Speaker 1:So like I need more. It makes us better people to like, go and see, like outside of ourselves, yes, I think also like in this country by role. Um, we think we better than everybody. This country is wild honey and I said, if you don't go somewhere to spain and get a siesta, yes, okay, humble yourself, shut it down. They shut it down.
Speaker 2:Go rest.
Speaker 1:Yes, go rest, take a nap.
Speaker 2:Take your ass and nap. How come we don't? I'm like my goodness, if I hadn't known that, maybe I would have been a more crankier person, I don't know. But like the fact that people go and rest during the middle of the day and can pick back up and work or do whatever they need to towards, like continuously, to the like end of the night, like to midnight, like that is my jam, this is I totally want to take a nap and be able to, like get back up and do my job.
Speaker 1:so it is interesting, for sure, for sure. When I, when I went to spain a few years ago, I was like, oh, first off, y'all don't eat dinner till 10. I was because it's because y'all taking naps yeah, taking naps, but they have a big lunch, that's the other thing.
Speaker 2:Like a small little cup of coffee and, you know, like a small little thing for breakfast Lunch is huge. Like lunch is like a six course meal Like that. You go ham on lunch. Then you're so tired, Okay, your body's like we're going to go nap time. We're going to take a nap.
Speaker 1:That's not the day I'm walking.
Speaker 2:Yes, that too right. All the steps and the stairs, and I got in a lot of steps. I love it because sometimes when I don't get yoga, then I'm like sorry, I got to mess up, sit equal for a class, but then like they have this nap, and then you wake up and you're like, oh my God, I'm ready to continue the rest of my day, have a small little nosh at nighttime, because you're not even supposed to be eating big plates anyways, before going right back to bed. So like our states are like awful.
Speaker 1:You kind of touched on both of these things, but, like, what has it been like traveling alone? But as a black woman or in a body that presents as a feminine body, I will, um, I honey baby it. It is a different experience and what has that been like for you?
Speaker 2:oh, gosh, uh, it's, it's to each his own. Sometimes it's really great because it's for one where you can find your community, especially in a space that is predominantly white, and you find someone that is of color and you're like hi.
Speaker 1:You see me, I see you, you see me right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see you, you see me, you know.
Speaker 1:So that is like really connecting and drawing, even though you still got to be careful because you don't know if they've been whitewashed by society and things of that nature.
Speaker 2:So you still got to be, you know, careful. And then it can also be really scary where it's in spaces where someone next to you has been assaulted or there are police involved, or police are following you or so many things are coming up, or just walking back towards your hotel or going down the hallway in your room and someone that is bigger than you, you know, I'm tiny, tiny, five, one tiny, but mighty, watch it. Let me tell you, tiny, five, one tiny, but mighty, watch it.
Speaker 2:Um, let me tell you, you know, and you're walking down the same hallway and that person is behind you, um, or walking down the street in this in a big city and just like not being aware of your, all of your surroundings, because you just don't know your, uh, you don't know really where you are, so you gotta watch your six, you know. There's just so many things that make it so terrifying. And because black women are being targeted, killed, kidnapped on the most highest percentage level in the history of mankind, it is very, very scary, um, yeah, and you try all of the things that you can to protect yourself and it's. I think it's utterly bullshit that you can't bring um if you're flying, you know you can't bring, you know, certain mace or a small little pocket knife. You know the things that you're not allowed to bring. In new york, you're not allowed to carry mace. Um, it is illegal. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I send it to my friends I don't give a shit like I don't care like I will. My friend, I where you at. Okay, I'm, no, I'm gonna send it because I know you can't order it. I'm, I will get it to my house and then send it to you exactly like it comes from me.
Speaker 2:I'd rather get arrested, I'd rather than be then still alive, than be unalive and those things are just like. It's a wild experience. It's an unfathomable experience. If you are not a Black woman, you can't, I can't explain it to you. It's just hard to explain.
Speaker 1:I even like I think about this quite often and, like I said, you know, in the last few years, like we've really been outside on these planes and going to cities that we've never even heard of, You'd be like it's called. What now, I've never is this real Going to small, little airports, big airports, all of the above. Something else that comes to me that makes me nervous, and I I have now put all the safety features on it. It's like Lyfts and Ubers.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Because when you go to these places, you're you don't know whose car you're getting into, right, I mean any. Even in LA I'd be like, uh, like I, I, my, I always tell my friends. Or if I go out to play games, if you want to, about 19 people know where I'm at at all times.
Speaker 2:Yes, we do.
Speaker 1:I got all my nosy detective ass friends that got my location. They gonna find me. Yeah, we come find you. But even on like the Lyft apps and I don't know if you use this too like you can set up like safety features on Lyft and Uber, I do that. Every time you get in, somebody gets a message. The thing for me is they had to create that because women were getting kidnapped and raped. Getting in a car with someone think we try to get from point A to B and going missing Do you also have? Because I got anxiety. Every time. I'm like, fuck, should I just get a taxi or should I get? Like, do you ever get anxiety from getting from point A to point B in these new cities that you have to go to or cities you've been to?
Speaker 2:Um, I have you know what? I have a very um for one, uh for one, uh. Yes, I do use that app. I just started to use it and I was just like this is really helpful.
Speaker 1:Um and I was just like.
Speaker 2:this is also quite interesting to be able to see, like um, who's going from point A to point B, or just like. Also, if I forget to like switch onto it, or cause I switch it on and off because I don't. I'm also just like not comfortable with tracking because big brother, so I also have a mindset of, again for one, how high, how dehydrated am I? How far is the distance? Is it walkable? Sometimes I look at that before I look at Uber pricing, because I feel as though getting away is a lot faster.
Speaker 2:Running, you know, running, going, walking into a public place immediately, cutting into a door, not willing, not willing Stiletto heels, something that I can't walk or run in, you know, I need to make sure that I'm comfortable. So I think I use that as an alternative, more so to be able to get where I need to be. I try and use, if I need a rental car, like I really try and use a rental car as much as possible so I can be able to have the control that I need to also be able to be like nope, I need to get out when I need to get out, or I need to go to bed, you know. So one of those things. And then also, because of the high mortality rate that we're experiencing and the high kidnapping rate, my brain on a much more survival mode where, whether it's survival or whether it is just like this could possibly happen to me.
Speaker 2:Having acceptance of that because of who I am, I think that's also like a really crucial feeling, like, oh, it will never be me or it can never be me, because you know, I might be pretty or it might be ugly to whoever that person thinks of that person, of themselves. You know, wherever your body positivity is, I think that you know just being really realistic of the fact that these things are happening and, for one, trying to be prepared, but also just being prepared for whatever that means. So you know, I talk about that with my partner, you know, as far as, like you know, I'm 40 and I talk about wills like what is my family members getting I mean not much, you know, maybe some really good, you know stainless steel toys and a squatty potty.
Speaker 2:But for the most part, I think I'm just being more realistic and the awareness of just like this shit can happen, level of, if it does happen, how I can bring my emotions down and be more just like, okay, what's happening? Where am I? What does a person look like? How am I being binded up, Trying not to try and find some kind of exit strategy, like those kinds of things that are making me feel much more. It brings my fear down.
Speaker 2:You know the people that like do like you know those bunkers and, like you know, prepare for doomsday shit like that. Like, I have a strong fascination about that. Look at us learning something about me again. That's weird. I love it, but I have such a strong fascination about that and I feel like being prepared as much as you can is so important and just the awareness of where you're going is so important. So that's like those are the things that I just like. I really try and strategize where I'm at in a different part, Like, if I can avoid an Uber or Lyft, I'll do it in a heartbeat. Ain't nothing wrong with walking and getting that heart weight going. Okay, there's nothing wrong with that Health Honey.
Speaker 1:Get your steps in, Get your steps in.
Speaker 1:And the health steps. You know that you're getting healthier, like you need it. I mean, something that I always think about is like how is my body feeling Right? Like even being prepared to go travel? You got to prepare your body. Yes, like going to the gym, stretching. Can we talk about stretching real quick Because we are not doing it enough? If you were on these damn planes, trains, automobiles, like you know it, just existing like that is a part of like health that I don't think people do enough, they'll be like well, I don't go to yoga, I don't do Pilates. Do you have a body and like somewhere to sit on a floor you can stretch?
Speaker 2:You can stretch, you can stretch, I think you can stretch, I think you. You know, I love when I see people go, when I'm at the hotel and people are actually utilizing the weight lifting room or the gym and I'm like you know, I don't use that amenity, that's not my amenity that I want to use, like I'm going to go find a yoga studio, or if I can't find one, then yes, I'm going to get up and stretch in the morning and move the body around. I mean, body movement is so needed, especially when you're waking up and your body is so stiff and so cold and it hurts and it's cracking and making noises, it's farting, it's like it's releasing gases. You know, body is body, the fluids are fluid, everything is happening. So, like movement is important. Finding some sunlight, vitamin D is also important. Staying hydrated is also very important. So if you're in a hotel and you're just like that person that has to be on the computer all the time, get your ass outside and stand outside. Just stand outside, just breathe some air.
Speaker 1:Listen this is a part of your preparation for your trip. Whatever trip you got up, I want you to look at some stuff after this conversation. Something that also comes up for me when I have to travel is safety in my body. You mentioned being aware and keep your head moving and on swivel. For me, it's also just being in an airport. Sometimes I'm like I will have headphones in, but here's a trick, baby, they might not always be on Play with me if you want to Play with me, if you want to.
Speaker 1:Also, for people, sometimes I want to talk to me. They don't even be on. I just act like I can't hear you, I'm just keeping it a buck. But being in airport, there's something that I say to myself all the time yeah, I'm not about to play with my flight status. So, whatever games you feel like you about to play, I'm not the one today or I might be, but like thinking about my flight status full circle here, it feels like there's always a challenge to safety and even if, like playing with someone's flight status feels like I can't escape, like I can't leave somewhere, yeah, and these are like the thoughts that, like I have in my head when I be seeing people acting up in the airport. I'm like, not me, because what if I need to leave this country? What if I need to go somewhere? Do you ever have those thoughts or has any that ever hit you?
Speaker 2:I mean like somebody acting out for one, like my goodness, that's just ruining the whole day. Like, especially if you just want to get home, you're just like God damn it, I just want to get the fuck home.
Speaker 1:Like what are you doing? The?
Speaker 2:worst when you want to go home and you're tired. When I want to go home and I'm tired and I get it, you're tired too. You're probably dehydrated, you're tired. Maybe you know, maybe those things like I know, those things have happened right and you have to be mindful of it.
Speaker 2:Um, I think that, like, in those spaces you know you, just for one, I do the same thing. Like you, you know earphones and I don't wear, like these, big headphones. I think these are your little boobs, yeah, my boobs, yeah, I have the same AirPods. So I think, like I think, that people that wear these I think that is whatever that they that makes them work for them, that's great, but I think these are just not very safe Cause it's just so big and do you, whatever you're listening to, can you hear what's going on? So, the same thing like you, like, I do put on music because I need that music to, like, bring my anxiety down before or getting off the airplane. I don't need to talk to anybody. I put my head on low sunglasses on A lot of people when they see me at a trade show, they're like I didn't even know that was you. Yeah, we were on the same flight. Yeah, yeah, we sure were.
Speaker 1:Maybe you are like Beyonce, I'm low-key and secretive.
Speaker 2:You don't need to know my shit. I think those are the things that I do. Also, I like to sit in the window spot. It's one person that's not touching me. That's one more person that's not touching me. Let's talk about a seat.
Speaker 1:I am a window girl yes, today I die today I die I'd be.
Speaker 1:I'm not getting banged up on the outside, I'm not a middle bitch. Fuck you in a window seat, and I think I told you this one time. I was in the window and I was texting and somebody reached their little arm across my face to touch the window. And my instinct, let me tell you, I did put hands on this person. We didn't tussle, but it was a middle-aged white man and he reached across my face, like across where my nose is, to touch the window. And how quickly I slapped that hand baby, now you're in my personal space.
Speaker 1:I don't know what you're doing. We was both startled because my natural reaction was to and you know what? In that moment I didn't apologize because you chose to enter my bubble. And what are you doing? Get a minute. Exactly, you in the middle, exactly, play your role, exactly.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and also like I've sat in a middle where I literally had two white people talk the entire time in between me and I was just like, do you want to switch? Does someone want to switch? And neither one of them wanted to switch. One person was tending supposedly tending to their family, and the other person had a dog. And I'm like this is so uncomfortable and so awkward that I was just like you know what I'm going to do, what I normally do best. You know doing things to. You know give my boundaries. You know did everything, and I can be sometimes a little passive-depressive I'm a queen of that since all the Virgos but also just being like this is like uncomfortable and they're not aware, respecting you.
Speaker 1:They're not respecting you.
Speaker 2:They're not respecting you, they're just not aware. They have no like nothing. Awareness, awareness, the awareness, and not asked to be included in the conversation, but just be mindful of like. The fact of like someone is just like having to deal with, you know, breaths talking and dispersing in front of me and I'm just like, oh my gosh, I don't want this to happen to me, right?
Speaker 1:now.
Speaker 2:So I prioritize my boundaries now. That window space is non-negotiable and it's closed.
Speaker 1:It's closed. Don't reach over. Don't reach over either.
Speaker 2:This is my space. I pay for this space. If you look, sometimes those spaces can cost a little bit more than certain other seats.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I'm going to take it, I'm going to do that because, it also just makes me feel not only safe but continues to grow my own productivity. Once I land Right, I'll be able to be. More I'll have, I'll be more active, able to be, more I'll have, I'll be more active. I'll be more aware I can. That comfortability is important to me, Um, so that way I can go to these retailers and teach and not have to feel like a trauma is sitting inside of me because this a-hole was just like taking up space in my like.
Speaker 1:I'm not up for that what does it mean to take up space for yourself when you travel?
Speaker 2:that's a good one. Um, yoga, yoga. That is like one of my ultimate. I'm sorry, I'm not getting much light, oh did it get dark at your house?
Speaker 1:what y'all doing over there? Come on, come on, we got sun.
Speaker 2:I don't know what the hell is going on. Let's see if I could do this chris just cut out.
Speaker 1:Just cut this out because tracy getting stabilized thank you, chris, thank you um, okay, all right, okay, I'm gonna ask you again let what does. Um, I forgot the question bitch.
Speaker 2:What was it Safe space look like? For me, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:What does safe space look like for yourself when you're traveling?
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a great question. Um, first of all, number one staying hydrated. Like this is my safe space bottle, it's my water bottle. I love it because it says so many things on here that like really grounds me. So, like, safe Slut, like, come for me. I love Safe Slut, I love you. Okay, she's like a fantastic influencer. So, water hydrating, keeping your body hydrated I just said this in another podcast Like you've got to be hydrated, it keeps you grounded, it keeps you sober, um it, it. It flushes out any you know toxins in your body. Like that is like my number one, my hands down. Number one, my second one you drink, look, drink your water, drink your water. My second one is flying Again. Definitely, that window seat is important to me, non-negotiable. Come for me, you must be putting me in another window seat. That's fine, you know, do you?
Speaker 1:want to move. No I don't, baby, I pay for this yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no, I don't, baby, I pay for this. Yeah, yeah, no. Then I think also finding a yoga studio is definitely my safe space, and let me just say also, like it's still hard to navigate through that, especially since yoga is such an appropriated space. Yes, an appropriated space, I mean, I've gone into so many places. I'm just like, you know, I get judgment, you know, I get like the whole nine, you know, and all the triggers start to go and I'm like this is supposed to be a safe space for me to relax, release, meditate, find my stillness, find my groundness in a safe space Like this is supposed to be, like this, not this whole, just the talk, just the talk. It's like how?
Speaker 1:do you make me a?
Speaker 2:fireman.
Speaker 2:I'm like, I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing. If I tell you that I'm a yoga teacher, you should just say say less. Here's the room, here's your mat and towel. Go and have a wonderful experience. Sometimes that's hard. You, girl, here's your mat and towel, go and have a wonderful experience.
Speaker 2:So sometimes that's hard and you get watched. I mean, yoga is such a balance. It's not even a balance. It's a place where you need to be in spirit than in your human ego body. So you're just already constantly being watched, right, and people they judge you. They ready to be like, oh, they don't know what they're doing. And then I'm like, yeah, bitch, I do know what I'm doing and I'm doing it for me, I'm not doing it for you, yeah, so I grabbed that space as much as I can because I'm going to take all the space as much as I can. I think that's really important, especially Black people, black women, people of color in general, taking back the yoga space of where it belongs. Shout out to India and any ancestors that created that. Thank you for that. It's important Like I need that for my life. I don't know what I would do without it. I know I'd be in so much, I'd probably be in chronic pain.
Speaker 1:I look at my family.
Speaker 2:I look at my family and I'm just like some of them have this chronic pain or have this, like you know, connection I don't want to say connection, but that there's this gosh, I can't even think of the word. But when you know that person is just like so absorbed, just like constantly going to the doctor and thinking that a medic medicine is going to be the answer, when sometimes it's just, you know, healthy diet and yoga, just yoga, just stretching, can do so much, much, um, so I really, I really lean into yoga so much because it's just like it's my epicenter, it is, it is my life force and using that oh wow, so many emotions using.
Speaker 2:That is like that's my ultimate safe space. And then, um, my final safe space is um a restful night's sleep, just sleep, I like to sleep. That's my past time is sleeping, just sleeping, just shutting it off and sleeping, it's like it's true, I'm here, that's me, it's me, my subconscious, it's all like that do you have a travel fit?
Speaker 1:like I have, like two go-to travel outfits and I have a playlist like I have a walk through airport playlist that, like it just exudes bad bitch energy and I feel like that changes my walk, which also I feel like I've created for, like, safety, like, yeah, feel like, don't talk to me because you don't know she's on a mission. You're right how we're walking. Like, do you have any of?
Speaker 2:those things. Yeah, oh, yeah, 100, okay. So my travel fit is, um, uh, again hat. I always have my hat on, like my baseball cap. That is always on, always on. I'm having too much hair sometimes. No, I don't, I will make it work. I will make it work. I will make it work. My sunglasses are on. I usually also consider a mint or a piece of gum. That's part of my fit, because I like to like walk and chew my music.
Speaker 2:I am, again, a very weirdo rando person, so I literally just put on all of my songs, so it doesn't like from a to z, like my entire discography of like what I have, and just like let it rip, just let it rip. So I'm like, okay, what letter do I want to be on today? Letter b then I'm just like all the songs, all the songs and all in different genres, and like mixing and matching. Um, I think that has to do with a little bit more of my adhdism, because my partner was like I can't listen to the shit that you listen to. Like how you gonna go from like jazz music to like hard rock, like I don't understand and then go to r&b like it's just like it just works for me.
Speaker 2:So that's my, that's my fit, that's part of my fit. And then, as far as like suitable wares um yoga pants, no denim. I think it's like very binding. I don't even really have denim anymore. I gave it up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like so it's usually yoga pants for the most part because, like I, just I need that flexibility, but I will wear like layered up on top so I don't get too cold on the plane, and always sneakers and socks. Yep, I'm TSA pre-check. I don't like taking off my sneakers. Don't eat the pre-check. You're not going to make me take my sneakers off when thousands of people have walked through there and I don't know how often you don't disinfect.
Speaker 1:I've never seen it.
Speaker 2:I've never seen disinfecting. There's never been a shift change where there's been disinfecting. I've never seen it TSA, get it together or give us some information, because I need to know how this gets sterilized and it lasts for a well over 12 hour day where people are still touching those bins, okay, and they're just recycling through. Okay, like, explain this to me in any case.
Speaker 1:You just messed me up, Cause I also. I never really thought about that, especially after this COVID had been up and through everything.
Speaker 2:So explain to me how this is being. In any case, socks and sneakers. Socks and sneakers be protected, be prepared, prepared, be prepared of other people spilling things on your feet. Be prepared of people's luggage running running over your toes, like I don't know how people walk around with thong, flip-flops and everything. I'm like. You are being exposed to a lot of things that a lot of people have been on like no way. So that's the other thing where I'm just like socks and sneakers.
Speaker 2:You won't be seeing me wear no heels, like trying to keep you won't know my toes, not, you won't know my toes, no you won't know those and plus like some of these terminals are long as fuck, like you gotta like this is a whole half hour trip to get from one terminal to the other and you're gonna skip around and thongs, sandals or valenciana shoes like thank you you just brought something up that really really comes back to me what's your least favorite airport and your favorite airport?
Speaker 1:because I, out the top of my head, I'm like boom, my favorite airport is Chicago.
Speaker 2:Really, I know it's funny, that's crazy, but OK, it's really weird. I like it because holiday season they decorate it really cool and it looks it's literally the same. Like what is it Home Alone when they're running through the Chicago airport?
Speaker 2:And it's like decorated the same way and I'm like, oh my God, this is where Kevin McAllister was just like, stopping that left, like this is fucking awesome. I've also ran into somebody in the industry in an airport in Chicago and I'm like, what are the odds? So I think that's really cool. I love Chicago hot dogs, so say less. So there's a spot called Kelly's that I get my chicago dog and my you know my uh, okay I'm off to look at kelly's fries.
Speaker 2:you know, they got like wicker, like they got sushi. That's all on point. Like there's like spots in there, I'm just like this is my jam and I can make this easy for me. Um, my, I will only give a second. I want to add a second favorite, which was San Francisco. The air was so clean in there. It was so like they were pumping like clean I don't know Oxygen. It felt clean. Everything was sparkling clean. You could look like you could lift the floor and I was just like this feels different. The air quality is different, like all this is different. You know clean foods and everything. I was just like no, no cow knows how to do it Right. I was just like NorCal knows how to do it right. I was just like let me just put them on there.
Speaker 1:If you go to Oakland it's tricky. They trick you with that one airport. They'd be like it's nice Surprise, you got robbed.
Speaker 2:You got to be careful with those small little hubs, those little jump off. That's why I don't do them. I'd rather drive two hours. I don't do those jump offs, I'd rather drive two hours. I don't do those jump offs Like no, no, no, no, no, no, they try no, where my bag at it's only one, one tar belt, like one belt, like where my bag at.
Speaker 1:You know why my bag open?
Speaker 2:Why is it open? What happened behind the scenes? So that's the other one. I think my worst one is probably Dallas.
Speaker 2:I do, um, I do, no, all right, like american, like I got american points, that's great so I can go into a lounge. That's the only reason, like because I can go into a lounge. But being out in those circular pods, they're not clean. It's people that, just the transients that just pass through. Just like this is just. This is rough here, man, this is rough. It's just like crappy tex-mex, american americana foods uh, you know chick-fil-a's and like you know, like just shit that I just wouldn't even eat because for one it probably would give me the worst. Like you know IBS, or like constipation for one or for two. Like who are you? Who are you supporting? You know, is it? Who are you? You're not supporting me, you're not supporting my LGBTQ community, you're not supporting people of color. You're you're anti-LGBT, you're LT, anti-palestine, you're anti-everything that does not resemble who I am and I'm just like fuck off. I do not like that airport. That one's probably like my suck a bag of dicks DFW. But I'll be seeing y'all soon enough.
Speaker 1:I hate you, but you better not play with my flight. Don't play with my flight. That's crazy, cause you didn't even so, my least favorite, I think of course LAX it's. It's getting better allegedly, but you know, no, atlanta, y'all, y'all gotta stop playing. It is an adventure every time Like what are we doing? What are we doing? What are?
Speaker 2:we doing. I think that Atlanta has, first of all Atlanta, the city, shout out to certain people that who you know, that live out there, I love you to the day I die and I'm always there to support you.
Speaker 1:We going back, tracy, we going back. Anyway, I'm not going back, we going back.
Speaker 2:I'm not going back, anyway, I'm not going back, going back, I'm not going back, I'm not I'm not going back, I'm not going, I'm not going to put you in my luggage like a kid, that's. That'd be that one uber be like. I'm in atlanta. How'd I get here, surprise bitch, how'd I get?
Speaker 1:there, yeah, but that airport trash it is trash.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of people that are angry there. I feel like Atlanta is just like they're so angry and so frustrated and just like not hydrated. It's like this is why y'all skin dry y'all ashy we gotta take a train to get to another, train to get to like one terminal to get to another train.
Speaker 1:I'm like what is all this? And then you get there and then they change your plane, Right.
Speaker 2:You fly and you got to reverse uno Right, or they'll be like you know what? We're going to go on a strike right now. I'm like Can I like get on the plane first? Can I like fly? Can we like ascend? And then like y'all, can do whatever you want, like give me that space so that way I can feel like comfortable and be like okay Y'all, good luck, good luck.
Speaker 1:But I got to go home. Where has been the place that?
Speaker 2:you've been to that you have felt the most unsafe and or your worst experience. Traveling Unsafe yeah, hmm, okay, um, so there was a small part, but I was still I would kind of still want to go there now, knowing in hindsight, with a group of people and, um, yeah, with a group of people, at least one person, um, so I traveled by myself to argentina for a yoga retreat back in like 2018. It was like literally right before the closing of the country stores for the pandemic, and when I was coming back home, I had a 12 hour layover in Lima, peru, and I was like I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit in this airport, which I already did not feel comfortable nor safe, could barely speak, you know, learn or speak Spanish. You know, like, I was just like this is not comfortable for me and I did my research and I was like let me just go to, you know, the coast of Lima, peru, and just venture out. I've, you know, done it before in our country, so let me just try and do it here. So, um, first of all, getting into a taxi cab, as we said, right, it's like scary as hell. The person, um was very kind, um, but you know, just the language barrier was really hard because when that person got frustrated about the traffic, I was like, okay, this is, this is about to be it. So that was.
Speaker 2:That was a little bit of a red flag. You're going through a part of the country where you're seeing assault rifles being held by Polizia and you're seeing a lot of poverty. So, like on red, like this guy can stop anywhere, and like again on red, I finally got to the town and you know, just being able to walk around, but with you have this backpack on you and it's red and it's noticeable, and I literally had like two other men start to follow me and it was a signal. I realized I got signaled or targeted when there was a person, a transient person, that was trying to sell like little toy dolls, and I was just like I'm not interested and just like here, here, here, and I'm like look, here's a peso, I don't want it, just to like get them away from me. And I I saw that person walk past the two people and like give a nod or like a something, you know, a signal, and I literally watched these two. I'm like I got two big ass men ready to start following me on this, this excursion, I'm just trying to like see the sights, all the things, and they followed me.
Speaker 2:They found me for quite some time until I, until I realized I had to like get more into a much more public space and, um, I literally hitched on to a group that was doing a chocolate tour and, if you don't know, like a chocolate tour of Lima or a Peruvian chocolate is like gold, it's delicious. So I literally just hopped onto this tour and was like, hey, I'm sorry I'm late for this tour, do you? I don't have my ticket. And the guy was just like it's fine, I don't care, I don't care. Like, maybe that guy was just like it's fine, I don't care, maybe that guy had a really long day too. He was just like I don't give a shit.
Speaker 1:I just want this day to be over.
Speaker 2:That was a way for me to divert myself. Who knows what would have happened that?
Speaker 1:sounds so scary.
Speaker 2:Literally the day before I got back, two days before actually, and that's when, you know the government, everything shut down and no one was able to travel. The other really alerting thing was that because I was with a lot of white people but there was an Asian woman with me, or Asian person or woman, and you know the, you know the Wuhan virus is already out. You know you can tell that people were on alert and being very, you know, judgmental around Asian people and like we stuck together, like we stuck together and we were, you know, trying things and breaking off pieces and sharing things, and like you know, and you could tell that a lot of white people were just like disgusted or just, like, you know, turned off, like, you know, keeping away from us, and I was just like wow, to see that too. It was just like this is fucking ridiculous. So I felt like I needed to, you know, be with this person, because we kind of both needed to share a safe space and that was our bubble, that we needed to be able to share each other and be able to, you know, hold each other accountable for anything that could happen to us and also, you know, be responsible for each other, without even having to say those things, but just being like aware of, like people. People are coming out, coming for you, coming for the both of us, and that was probably, like my most like disconnecting, like disturbing, scary piece that I can remember.
Speaker 2:In addition, like I've also, you know, been in South Dakota where, like I've had cops follow me, like I've had those things where, like that to me was so, of course, triggering and terrifying that even now, like I'm like, okay, this can happen still, but just also being somewhere where you're not near, you're not even in your states, you're not a citizen here, shit's going to go down and if they find you, they, they find you, and if they don't, best of luck to you you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that oof, I can't even imagine like how I just feel in this country, but I'd be like, uh-uh, they didn't turn two corners the same time as me.
Speaker 1:I'm not walking, no more, I'm going inside, yeah watching your six is so important.
Speaker 2:You know you can have these headphones on it. Please, you know, keep them on low. My, my brothers and sisters and my sisters, my sisters, my, you know, all of my people like, keep that shit on low, watch your six, you know, and just be, you know, mindful. You can still have a wonderful experience but, like people will be, maybe they look at we're a target, we're a huge target.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. That's also why there's so many. I follow some groups that are specific for Black folks traveling, because I think we have to have such community for someone to go back. You'd be like I'm about to travel here, what does it look like for safety? Are there certain things I should know? Are there certain things I should look out for? Because some people just get to travel. That feels nice. I'm over here like literally anytime. Someone's like, oh, I want to go here. I'm like is it safe for Black people? Right, and they're like, oh, I didn't think about that. And I said, oh course she didn't. Of course she didn't, even if I speak the language. Right. But wait, I keep seeing this meme that's like these countries keep asking for us to come, they'll send you money, but now do they like niggas? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know about that. I mean, like I don't know about that, there is a community in Mexico City which and my partner yeah, my partner is and my partner is white. So you know, let's try that again. My partner is white. Interracial relationships are already a very off-scale conversation to have right.
Speaker 2:However, in every country, in every country, in every country like you know, to be seen walking with someone that is, um, not you know well older than you, like you can tell. Like that person is not a great you know old, elder person, um you know you just get them.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna tell him he's not, he's not, he's young.
Speaker 2:he always says you're, you're as young as the person you're you're with. So I'm just like oh, okay, Well we're still going to bed at seven, tuck in, tuck in, tuck in, tuck, tuck, tuck in, okay.
Speaker 2:But I think that, like, finding communities like that is important. So, like Mexico city, there's a very big black community where you're like, okay, I feel comfortable wanting to live there, wanting to move there. You know, in Spain not so much. You know, like you have to go more closer to, like Lisbon, portugal, to be able to really find more people of color.
Speaker 2:And let's not also forget, spain is the largest country, that was the largest colonizers to the slave trade. They are the largest, they are the ones that created the slave trade, they are the ones that began it and sure as hell ended it Like, well, not ended, but they were the ones, they were the biggest ones that literally had all of our ancestors brought to the states. Okay, so let's not keep that in mind. So, when you go there, there is this level of racism. It is there and it doesn't. I think once they either speak to you and realize, oh, you're American, then they'll take less judgment upon you. However, there's still this like there's strong, strong racism in that country, and you know they are, they despise Africans and I'm like this is my people.
Speaker 2:This is my homeland, so, like you know, being in Spain and I love it so much, I had to make sure that, like where we're going, I'm like there are not black people in here. There's not enough black people in here. There's not enough Black people in here. Are your friends speaking to my partner? Are your friends? Who are they? What are they about? How do they act? How do they act around people of color? What's the vibe? Because if I'm not going to feel comfortable, even though I'm with my partner, I will remove myself, I will leave. I'm not going to sit here, I'm going to leave'm not going to feel comfortable, even though I'm with my partner, I will remove myself, I will leave, like I'm not going to stay here, I'm going to leave.
Speaker 1:I'm going to leave.
Speaker 2:You know I'm not going to. You know there's just so many things. So, like finding those those really strong communities, like it's a legit community, and if you know somebody that has been there and can validate that, vouch for that, help vet you on that. That's where I'm like, that's where you should travel first as a Black person.
Speaker 1:Where's the safest place or the best place? You've traveled like the best experience?
Speaker 2:The safest place? I don't think there is. I think that's a. I honestly don't think that we was like let's just try. Let's just try. Where have you felt good there? I don't think that we was like, let's just try.
Speaker 1:Let's just try where you felt good.
Speaker 2:There I don't know have I felt good. Honestly, it's only around people that like where they live. Like if, like for you would be like my safe space, like, oh, I'm gonna come out and come see you and I'm like I'm gonna come to your house, like I'm gonna chill, we're gonna go out and be around dinner, like that is really that's my safe space. Like I've been to a friend's house um, miss k, she's a fantastic dominatrix out in um tennessee area and um I got to go to um, to her home, be a part of her family life and like their day-to-day lifestyle and like have that moment where I was just like there's no one coming for me.
Speaker 2:I could, I could, you know, take my shoes off, take, I felt like I was at home, like literally like at my auntie's house, at my cousin's house, and we just chill it. Like that was that's normally my safe spaces. It's hard to say when you're traveling so much because, again, like just being on your sixes and being black person, like you just got to be aware, and like I can't even say like you know, I can say like even like all inclusive resort, but shit, people are fucking weird there, like you don't know some of those people and like shit can't wear.
Speaker 1:Basically you're saying there is no place for us to just it's, I mean, it's unfortunate to like, I mean africa but also some parts baby yeah, exactly because it and here something that people I'd be like oh, you're african-american. I'd be like I'm black. Yeah, because I know folks that are from africa, literally african, and now american yeah and they're like what do you mean? I said I'm black with a capital b, baby, um, now historically 23andme says I'm from all kind of parts also ireland, also Also from Ireland.
Speaker 2:I'm a little too much Irish.
Speaker 1:I can see that. Shut the hell up. But it's true, right, there's these things of even traveling with some other people, because all skin folk and kin folk. And if you don't know what that means, use your good girlfriend Google for free.
Speaker 2:It's free, it's easy to realize that. And the other thing is about choosing your family, too, right, you know, seeing, sometimes you can be thinking you can want to see a relative and that relative is just like, ooh, this is not safe, this space isn't safe and regardless of it being family, let's just circle back, not circle back. But, you know, think about our younger family members that you know are traveling or meeting other family members. We need to make sure that they are protected. They have their boundaries, which are well-deserved and well, they need those there and we need to protect them. And we need to make sure that, even if they're going to go see uncle or auntie or Tia whoever I was, whoever like, what does that look like for them? What does that space look like for them? Who are they around and like vetting them? So I think that's still just important.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that like honestly. No, there is no safe space in the world. It is whatever you decide to make that space right. Um, and that could be that hell, that could be somewhere in dubai or it could be somewhere, and like, I don't know, I don't like germany, I don't fucking know, but at the whole point of it is that, like you know, I really just want folks to feel like they should just be careful, you know, watch their sex, be aware and then, like you know, consent to making, can give your consent to making this a safe space. I'm saying this is a safe space. Now I'm demanding this, I am calling this out into into the space, um, because if I don't, then it's not going to be safe at all. So what?
Speaker 1:did you wish you knew before you started? Really, traveling, traveling yeah for one airline points maybe I am signed up for every hotel, uh, every airline, all of them I'm thankful that wrestling be like put your account, we're gonna pay more, but put your numbers I'd like thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Yes, the points, the point system. I wish I would have known that sooner. Like literally the first time I like decided to fly out to Vegas for the first time, Like I would. I wish I would have known, like hey, you should get your points.
Speaker 1:Hey, you should go through TSA. You should learn about tsa, like you should learn those things, right, okay?
Speaker 2:so that thing, I wish I would have learned um also global entry. Global entry like a shout out to like one of my old um um employers that like he was in a he's an event production lighting stage and he I, and he was an older, larger man I'd be like God damn, you gotta go through all that.
Speaker 1:And he was like bitch no.
Speaker 2:I don't. I'm going through TSA. I was like what is that? What is this elitist situation? Is it for everybody? Is this for everyone? So I think that one staying hydrated. Don't get fucked up and try and get on a plane, Cause you could be like one of those people that are drunk Listen, too drunk.
Speaker 1:Oh, y'all be on the plane acting up. You know TikTok has has has caught y'all, the internet has dragged y'all. And what do we talk about? Before You're not playing with my flight status, yes, yeah, every drink, not playing with my flight status. Yes, yeah, every drink, don't just cause it's free. It might not be for you, baby, it's not for you, it's not for you.
Speaker 2:So that's one of those things where I'm just like let me just stay hydrated, so that way I'm sober and I'm on my even keel and being aware, aware, and then again just like circling back around. So like really awareness, Like I just had to learn these things just out of experience, Like it was just out of experience and I wish I was just like. I wish I had this guidebook or manual to like traveling while while black, like that guidebook would be such a cool thing to have. Maybe there's something out there. If there is like, please let us know. We know about the green book, of course, but like I would like a travel while black guidebook, you know, and then adding some travel places and you know the whole nine.
Speaker 2:Maybe I should do it.
Speaker 1:I don't know, but in any case, a black ass trip Tracy. We should go somewhere we need to go to a black trip.
Speaker 2:That could be cute.
Speaker 1:That could be cute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm down for that. We don't have to put some things, weigh some things down. I like it.
Speaker 1:I like it.
Speaker 2:That's stupid. But yeah, those are the things that I think like those are like really important to know, you know, because it's just it saves you from a lot of trauma and stress and heartache and painful memories and scary moments and you know, it's like like when I talk about butt stuff and some person comes up to me and they're just like I've tried it and I will never do it again, I'm like fuck.
Speaker 2:I mean, like I can see that as far as an experience to someone that is actually traveling. You know, like fuck, I had a horrible experience and I never want to do it again. Like, oh man, like I would never want that to happen to you, like I would want you to be able to find ways to overcome that and also be able to, you know, manage your trauma, to be able to, like keep going and be like fuck that city. I'm not going back there again. But this city was, you know, hype, it was the vibe, it was dope.
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm also calling out my age.
Speaker 2:at this point, who says type anymore?
Speaker 1:I can't with you. I think we are a little elder. Listen, you know how somebody clocked my age. We were talking about like dancing and how, like, how young folks now they don't dance with their arms in the air And'm like, well, where do you put them right? It's for balance and stability. What do you mean? Y'all just dancing with your arms to your side? What are we doing?
Speaker 2:and why are you just not waving like you just don't care, like hello that's, that's not freedom, like you're just like yeah, what is it?
Speaker 2:loosen up, like that's not enough balanced, that's not enough for me like your arms need to be up, like don't even get me started. Like half tree pose, like we all know you start with your arms up in the air. Then at least your fingers, at least the index fingers, thumbs cross. You have to have the grip so tight that it literally like you're shooting up to the stars, you're grounding yourself from the tops of your fingers down to your heels. It's such a grounding experience and a balancing experience before you before, before us, getting into the balancing series Like come on, get that spine warmed up. Okay, get that spine warmed up.
Speaker 1:How are you supposed to twerk if your spine ain't spine ain't warm?
Speaker 2:I just also don't.
Speaker 1:I can't do it. It's true, I've seen it. Yeah, I can't do it.
Speaker 2:It's okay, it's okay, I'm okay with that, like that is my positivity.
Speaker 1:I've seen shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've seen shit.
Speaker 1:I feel like if we didn't have a little brief thing about the next thing before our last question. I think it's really important. I think you've kind of touched on it as, like mental health and like mental health isn't just like you know things can come up while you're in an airport that can affect your mental health, like things that you carry and, like you said, even seeing other people sometimes I'll be in the airport like I don't like the way they move in, right, it's making me feel uncomfortable. Now I feel anxious. Yeah, um, how has that been for you? Like, have you felt suddenly you like having a good day and that should be like I was just playing, we in this airport it's.
Speaker 2:It's happening now oh gosh, I mean like I think as soon as I walk into the airport, honestly, honestly, it's that's when my mental health is just like, the anxiety kicks in. You know, thinking about timeframes, you're worried you're not necessarily worried about people that you're trying to get to where you got to get to, to the gate and whatnot. That is like as soon as I like. Not even that I mean, because sometimes I talk to my partner because he'll take me to the airport quite often and I'm just like I don't want to go. I just don't want to go. I want to be at home in the bed with you and my dog and our dog Bonnie, and just like vegging out, like I don't want to do this.
Speaker 2:And that's when it kicks in really to do this. And that's where, that's when it kicks in really. You know that's when the self-doubt, the imposter syndrome, the anxiety, you know, like you, even if you have all of your, you know you're fit, ready and all the things that you need checked off and you're just like man, like to deal with strangers and you don't know what their mental health level is, like you are walking into a ticking time bomb, like that is like my start of it all. Um, I mean, I get so scared like bombings, like that scares the shit out of me, you know, because of the fact that we travel so much, you know, and I'm like how?
Speaker 1:can this happen? I got through one time with pepper spray. Oh, I didn't even know it was in my bag. And I got to Albuquerque and I was like oh hell, no, I'm leaving this here because we're not gonna double down and try again. Yeah, I had um, um, I had a box cutter in my bag and I'm like how you didn't see it? Who else bags? You ain't seen? Was it rush hour?
Speaker 2:you gotta get them through, did you not? Shift change?
Speaker 1:but you took my lotion but you took my goddamn this cost 60 dollars this cost 60 dollars bitch the way I had a huge. I'm about to get mad again. I just have to buy some more but like you took my lotion, but you let me have pepper spray.
Speaker 2:I can't took everybody. Yeah. Yeah, those things are like that's where I'm more like on a higher alert, and then when I get to the gate I'm like okay and I do check.
Speaker 2:I'm like who is fidgety, who is standing at the desk, you know acting up like trying to, like, you know, find flights or whatever. Whatever they lost their flight, you know missed their flight. The whole thing like keeping an eye on that. Also keeping an eye on, like, where police are, because you just need to keep an eye on where the fuck police are. Um, as a black person, so whether it's for as supposedly to serve and protect, just to see where they are, because even if you do have a bad day and you're just trying to explain your situation, your hostile.
Speaker 2:Your hostile right, your angry Black woman right. I think also like feeling to ways and navigate and try and keep my stress level down when shit goes down Like I miss my flight. Okay, knowing the things that you need to know, like I love that chick traveling with Erica because she's a lawyer and she's like because I travel and you just need to learn on my website, like that Shout out to Erica Love you, my girl, erica. Listen, erica dropped knowledge, knowledge, be putting the damn thing down.
Speaker 2:You better follow traveling with erica before they take tiktok, yes, and adding those informational things. And so you just know like, okay, the airline owes you these things because they owe you money. They owe you money because it's contracted, because you agreed to it, because you gave them money, so they owe you money. They owe you accommodations to put you up into a hotel. Those things are deserving of you. You also just need to be mindful. And if you've never worked in customer service, the service industry, customer care, which is normally where I also see a little couple of people losing their shit if they never worked in that industry, they are completely ignorant to how hard it is to work in this industry and customer service serve you on a constant, daily basis. That is like. That's where I'm just like wait a minute, I don't need to be like at you, like this, I need to. I've been in this situation. So let's both stay calm and be like let's figure this out together. Take a breath, let's take a breath, let me get give me a second.
Speaker 1:You try to go home, but I'm trying to get on this flight exactly.
Speaker 2:So let me, like you know, figure this out. You know, um, so I think that also is just like certain things where I'm just like okay. Then there's also times when I've been targeted. Like coming back from spain, I was on like I can't even remember the the german air, uh, airlines, I can't even remember the German airlines, I can't even remember in Amsterdam and like everyone's carry-on bag was big and I'm like my carry-on is fine. I'm never a checked bag girl.
Speaker 2:When I travel, I'm usually that person that carries on my products or just all of my luggage, like anything. I'm like carry on, carry on. And I know she like targeted me. She'm like carry on, carry on, and she, I know she like targeted me and she was like your bag is too big and like my partner's bag is twice as, twice the size of mine and he got on. So you're telling me that I have to check my bag. I'm like you're targeting me, you're coming for me. This makes no sense. And I just saw, like everybody, I was like this makes no sense. So just saw, like everybody, I was like this makes no sense. So, like those things are just like okay.
Speaker 2:How do I voice my, uh, my opinion on what I see. I'm like let me just put it on Twitter. Let me put it on, at least then I've been able to vent. Have they came back to me and said like, oh, we're so sorry, no, no, but I just want to make people aware, like, hey, this place was no good to people of color, and it's point blank brightest day, because we're seeing other feeds that say, or other threads that say the same thing. So, you know, contributing to the cause as much as you can, finding your level of activism to say like no, this is inappropriate, especially a black person, then you should. If you have that, that privilege to do that, then do it. Um, but you know, sometimes you just gotta, you just gotta get the fuck home. You know you just gotta get home and, um, I think that's important, like I just I just need to get home. So stay calm. Um, yeah, sometimes a crocodile tear might work here or there, but it really doesn't.
Speaker 1:My smile is usually the thing, so I'm like hey, sorry so I lost.
Speaker 2:you know, my flight got canceled. Like how can we figure this out, you know? So I try and keep an even keel because I just want to get home.
Speaker 1:Sure, sure, because I, just, I just want to get home. Sure, sure, whoo I. I really hope that people got to take some gems from this, because the journeys are ahead and it's not about we're not about to stop traveling, so that's not the move.
Speaker 2:No, no, not the move, never the move. It's like it's just being aware and like figuring out, like how to navigate. Um, you know TWB, and I think that's important when we have these conversations and allowing people to know, like you know, you'reb, and I think that's important when we have these conversations and allowing people to know, like you know, you're not just walking out there and all you know gullible and naive and like it's going to be absolutely you know it even happens to. You know big celebrities. So you know it's not just us, absolutely.
Speaker 1:They said you still, you still a mega, your coins cute, you still a nigga? Yes, your coins cute, but still I'm still a Nigel. We talk about such fun and hard things on this show that I like to end the show with a fun question. Keeps it light. So what is the wildest thing that someone has texted or deemed you in the last two weeks? And wildest perspective, um, what you got?
Speaker 2:okay so I had to like look at my calendar as we were like chit-chatting before. I was like this is the hardest question that I had to like answer out of this entire podcast. Like you also work in the industry that, like you see weird shit all the time, you know, like all the time, all the time. Like you hear it, you see it, you smell it Like so much shit that you see I'm just like what the fuck was? Probably a, what was it? Oh, it was a text from. It was a WhatsApp text and you know how WhatsApp is like. It's like you know it's supposedly non-regulated and, like you know, someone gets a phone number they can just send you whatever. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So I got a response hey, how are you? Haven't seen you in a while. And I'm like, well, it could be. You know someone internationally, it could be someone like somebody. And I was just like, oh, I think I know who this person is, so started texting, started chatting and was just like, huh, I wonder how their family are. And I'm like how's your family? And they're like don't ask me about my family, you know how they are and I'm like well, what the fuck does that mean, excuse me.
Speaker 2:And they said well, you know how did they say it? Well, you know, at the end of the day, I wish they weren't here and I was just like this is not, this is not, this isn't for me, like this conversation is not for me. So I think it was that weird conversation that I was just like texting like okay, um, are you okay? That's texting like OK, are you OK, that's the next part, are you OK? And that person, whoever it was, was just like no, it's about to go down now. And that was the end of it. And I was just like delete, remove, don't talk to me anymore, I don't know who. You are Blocked out, don't know. And that was the end of it.
Speaker 2:Like I was just like it's about to go down, it's about to go down and I was just like I'm not about to be.
Speaker 1:Did you check the news after to see if something went down? Where else would I?
Speaker 2:I don't even know Like it was such a.
Speaker 2:If too much happened every day, you'd be like I don't know, I don't know it could have been like if maybe it went down and I don't know who it was, but if they were just like it's about to go down and I was just like, yeah, this is not my conversation because I usually not usually, but always I'm like I'm not about confrontation, so I'm always about laughter and be like let's you know, we could joke around and have fun, but I was just like it's about to go down.
Speaker 1:I was like no, that could be a shooting, that could be a bombing, that could be a stabbing, that could be like. That's not for you.
Speaker 2:That's not for me and I was just like yeah, I don't want that, so I'm so used to being like I'd rather see a dick pic an unsolicited dick pic nowadays than like that does not mean to start sending them, though y'all. No, that's not, that is not what that means, and don't try and find me on whatsapp either.
Speaker 1:So, and that was the one thing, I was just like this is fun, this is I knew it was gonna be a fun time. Um, before you leave us, where can he, she, they them z z everybody, baby, where can they find you? If you want to give them any information to find you?
Speaker 2:and you know, buy something so you can stay employed, I don't know oh thank you Um so, no so, um as far as um finding me um on flower Tracy, flower child Cherie, that's my Instagram.
Speaker 1:I was like.
Speaker 2:Who the hell is that? Um, tracy flower child. You can like Instagram me. I am happy to answer sex ed conversations via paying first, so you do have to pay. I do have some nice rates for you. We can have a good conversation there. You can also find me or find our brands that I work for on Instagram or social media, especially Instagram the one massager, be vibe dot social and ride the cowgirl. So we have some really great, not only just fun premium lines of products, but just education and knowledge.
Speaker 1:Let me tell y'all, do some education, it's a whole we need.
Speaker 2:we use you Time and time and time for some some education.
Speaker 1:The education y'all create. I think it's so imperative, especially for B-Vibe Cause, listen the butthole is a tie If you don't know what the B stood for? It's for your booty.
Speaker 2:It's for your booty, it's for your booty, it's for your booty vibe, so like the education and the knowledge is so, so there. So I think you, well, I think you could definitely find um us there. Um, I do some unboxings from time to time with some interesting content. Um, if you are, um, oh, did I lose you? No, you're good, oh, okay, if you are in the Detroit area, we have a wonderful yoga studio out here and it's called Midtown Wellness Center, yoga Wellness Center. So definitely stop by there and check out, check out our spaces there, um, and we have a really wonderful hot yoga studio.
Speaker 2:So I definitely say, like, come through if you see me on the podcast and said like you come to detroit and you're like tracy, I know you, I met you on the podcast, I'll get you in for free, okay.
Speaker 1:Ooh Okay, a little.
Speaker 2:BIP. Take care A little BIP yes.
Speaker 1:I hope y'all receive them and also have some act right. And if you are TWB, you know, do some research, you know, talk to people, use again, use your good girlfriend Google, because she's yes, yes, yes, she's so free and she's so full of knowledge.
Speaker 2:just try and be careful as far as finding the right stuff until next time.
Speaker 1:Bye.
