Trauma Queen
"The Trauma Within" is a weekly podcast hosted by Jimanekia, a Trauma and Sexual Assault expert, queer media consultant, and comprehensive sex educator. Join us as we normalize conversations about life's most challenging experiences, from sexual assault to mental health and beyond. Discover stories of resilience, expert insights, and a safe space for discussing some of life's most complex topics. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/traumaqueen/support
Trauma Queen
The Trauma Within Navigating Global Journeys and Self-Discovery W/ Jordiana
Do you have any questions, any comments about the episode? Jimanekia would love to hear from you!
What happens when your home suddenly turns to ash and you're thrust into a whirlwind of uncertainty and self-discovery? Join us as we navigate the phenomenal journey of Jordiana Fabulous, a gender-expanding artist and guide whose life was upended by the sale of their New Orleans home. With symbols of personal rituals like a rooster's claw in hand, Jordiana embraced the chaos and magic of traveling through Mexico, Brazil, South Korea, Japan, and several African countries, revealing the transformative power of finding oneself amidst upheaval and instability.
As we share our own experiences of financial and housing challenges, compounded by the pandemic, we discuss the interplay between personal growth and professional milestones. Safety precautions and unique challenges faced by Black queer travelers during the pandemic are also front and center as we explore the intricacies of airports and border crossings. From understanding the African diaspora in places like Brazil and South Africa to the unexpected affinities discovered in Korea and Japan, these journeys provide a deep dive into cultural understanding and personal transformation.
Throughout, we examine the indispensable role of community amidst the turmoil of a global crisis. Whether it's the strength found in queer support networks or the necessity of mutual aid, these connections have been a lifeline. From reflecting on the insidious relationship between capitalism and community to exploring multiple sources of income, this episode is a heartfelt exploration of resilience, belonging, and the ongoing quest for home. Join us for a conversation that promises insights into the intersection of ancestry, mental health, and the evolving journey of self-discovery.
Thank you all for listening. Set a boundary with yourself this week, set a boundary with someone else. If someone else does not respect that boundary. LET THEM LOOSE YOU! Stay hydrated internally and externally. We do not have an ashy family.
IG: @The_Trauma_Within
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thetraumawithin
Jimanekia Ig: @Jimanekia
y'all. If you have been following trauma queen, you have heard this lovely human before y'all. We've got geordiana ge. Jordiana is a gender expanding, multi-dimensional artist, facilitator and guide, weaving healing energy into all of their practices. Informed by their individual self-healing practices, jordi has been able to guide group care workshops, center around meditation, ritual herbology and decolonize, organizing for the liberation of marginalized groups of people. Jordi is also on the board of Tending the Garden, which is my nonprofit. Jordi is also just a magical being that I have learned and continue to learn so much from Just such a gift of a being. Y'all we've got Jordiana at Jordiana Fabulous. You heard the intro, you heard all the magical things and I just am so appreciative of this human that, well, I don't know if you want to be called a human today. How dare I, how dare I of this being so? My first question here at the Trauma Within is always the same, because I think daily this answer changes for people, and so today I ask you who are you?
Speaker 2:Who am I Right now? It's giving Geordie Poppins. I'm out here riding on the east wind, getting ready to fly out on the west. You know, changing lives, changing hearts and collecting bags, you know, while bringing my own. So it's giving Geordie Poppins today.
Speaker 1:Okay, I love that. I love that. How did we meet? We met through both being models for radimo oh yeah, I think we met on set I think, yeah, I think so for the first time we met. We met on a photo shoot look at us, just just girls out here trying to get booked. Okay, what a time. Let's leave that in the past. That was a time. What does trauma mean to you?
Speaker 2:trauma. Trauma to me means I think like the, I think like the, like the, it's not necessarily the physicalization of it, it's not necessarily the remnants of it. These are all words that like, are close to the word that I'm trying to find, but it's like the, I think the evidence that there has been harm or a wound or something that needs to be healed from. I think, like, trauma is the evidence to me.
Speaker 1:Something that like came to my mind when you were like thinking of words, I was like ash, like after the fire, the remnants of it, ooh crazy. Today we will be talking about trauma in many different ways, but when I asked you what you wanted to talk about, of course it made sense and I was like, oh yeah, that makes sense. But we're talking about housing insecurity and travel. In the past two years, if the girls don't know, you've been in these streets and on these flights.
Speaker 2:you've been to mexico, brazil, south korea, japan, tanzania, ethiopia, madagascar, south africa and and Mozambique. Why what? I find it really, I guess, like magically chaotic that the initiation to these travels was because of like housing instability. Like I was in New Orleans. I was there, honey, I was insular, I was working from home, like so thankful for that. I was building my nest. It was cute, okay, like I lived alone for the first time ever. So I was learning a lot about myself at the same time, like processing a lot, healing a lot. I had a backyard, I had a studio shed where I did my art, my work, I was making a lot of things and I was good. I said I'm going to be here for three years and from there I'm going to find a place to live. I wanted to be on land with land, build homes there and really just like kind of enter an age of like the land lording over me. I didn't want any more landlords, I didn't want to live in the city Like I wanted to be with the land that was going to like have me. I wanted to be with the land that was going to like have me. And I said like I said to myself, like this will be like my last, my last landlord renting situation and I was about two years in, about one and a half one, and you know, three, four years into that idea for myself, and that's when my landlord was like I'm trying to sell the house and she was selling the house and tried to sell it with me in it. Really, when she first told me it was so interesting because I had done a ceremony um, it was like October 2021 that my, my relative called me and was like your nephew was a husky, your nephew mauled a chicken. Like you wanna come do this magic? Like so there was this rooster, this rooster body that I went, put a little cooler, brought to my house and was processing the um, scorpio, new moon.
Speaker 2:I remember because at on the same day, I was making rose clay and making like beads, like a rosary with like rose clay beads. So in the kitchen was me twisting the pot on these roses that I had blended down, boiled down into this like dark earth colored like clay that I was going to roll the beads that night. And then on the porch I was with this rooster and was like cutting its claws. I'm like, do I have anything? I travel with it now Like I travel with its claw in my like magic pouch. But I was like given dual magic. It was like day and night kind of thing, like within the same day.
Speaker 2:And then it was the next day after that ceremony that I got the email from her and was like I no longer want, you know, this house. There was a couple of months where I thought like I might be able to buy it. My parents were kind of like in the process of maybe looking for a house, like trying to see if they could, you know, like find someplace. So I passed it on to them. She wanted a large amount of cash for it, like over a hundred thousand dollars in like cash, and she was trying to make moves. She was trying to make moves, she was trying to make moves, and it wasn't her only home too, she had done that in multiple states and it the deal kind of fell through, it didn't solidify, and it was in, you know, like around January time that she was like all right, well, I going to start with this process.
Speaker 2:The realtor came over to my house in the late January kind of early February, was walking in the house with her shoes on, looking at my altar that I had a candle burning for my grandmother who just received a stage four cancer diagnosis. And I'm deep in my magic, deep in my ritual cancer diagnosis and I'm deep in my magic, deep in my ritual. And they just wanted to come in and take pictures and have open houses and have people come over whenever they want. So they put the. When it first went live, two people already came to the house like unannounced, taking pictures, kind of looking around. Somebody knocked on the door and was like are you selling this house? I was like I live here, I have nothing to do with that. I told her this and the solution for her was to give the realtor keys, give the realtor keys a copy of the keys to the house so that she could come in.
Speaker 2:But large yeah, yep, she could come in, but large yeah, yep, she could come in whenever she wanted. I was like I don't understand, like what the disconnect is like I live here, I work from home, I'm always at the house, like I don't, I and I and I. All I was asking was I want at least 24 hours to 48 hours before you even, like, bring anybody here. And that's something that they couldn't promise because they wanted it to sell, and very quickly. So after she asked like how I felt about like the realtor having keys, I was like you know what? I have to go, I can't stay here for this process.
Speaker 2:She already raised the rent by $200 during this process, knowing that you know like I would have to move, I would have to find a new house. She was going to get, you know, some like a lot of coin, more than the maybe $ of my stuff in storage. In about 10 days I moved out in 10 days. I didn't have time to look for another apartment. I put the lease without a month in advance, without giving her a month notice, and I moved in.
Speaker 1:She kicked you out at the drop of a dime.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can I ask you, because you and I have such good conversations, we be dab funny. But like, what did safety feel like in this? Because I know, as you know someone, that we are in communication. Like you were feeling, like you were building roots and you could create, and then having these invasive people come in, like what did safety feel like during that time?
Speaker 2:I believe it was superhuman. I believe it was like literally me running on like prayer and like spirits because I was lifting things by myself, my grounding rituals that really aided me during that time because it felt like spiritual warfare. And after, even after I left, it was revealed that it you know, it really really was. It really was.
Speaker 1:When you like the spirituality aspect. I totally understand that part. How did it show up in your body?
Speaker 2:Um, I was very tired, you know, like I, I, I felt like I was spiraling, um, like my body, like I really had to like push my body to its limits during that time to like really like move in that way, like because it was so fast, like asking for help and, you know, trying to coordinate with other people just like didn't happen. I think maybe two people helped me during that moment. Like at the end, you know, so really, it was like, I think, within my body and my relationship with my body, like I really had to like like soothe myself and like affirm myself and and like kind of like grab myself and, like you know, remind myself like you're here, like this is real, like it's happening. I know it's a lot like, I know you're tired, but like rest, so like like taking showers was really important for me, like still doing my kind of um, my daily routine, um, there were lots of things that I did like for my body because I was like I'm not taking this with me, so like salt scrubs or like masks, like using my clay, like just different things like that I was purging and giving away.
Speaker 2:Like I remember there was just like moments where I was like all of this. There's all of these like essential oils that I'm like not taking with me. I have all of this salt that I was like going to make for like, um, like bath salts or like different blends and stuff. So I I remember just having like big bowls of salt and like I was putting essential oils and herbs and like mixing them in and, and because I just didn't know what I was going to do and I really felt like I was moving away from New Orleans. I couldn't even process what my trajectory was, but because I just had to focus on me getting out. But I did feel like I was leaving and that was hard for me too, because my friends are there, family there, the neighbors that I had where I was so close with. So I was just scooping this salt in these jars, like telling my neighbors what's happening, what's going on, like giving them salt, my my practice of like really giving gifts to and like finding blessings in it, that really did, like um, give me strength during that moment Because, also, like the biggest, the biggest thing that was happening was also me leaving this house.
Speaker 2:The house had, you know, had a spirit and like I was with this spirit for like so long and it held so much space for me, and I really do believe that in a lot of ways, the house also was like all right, baby, like this is a nest and stuff, but you're, you're about to do some wild shit, like you're about to go around the world and like shit, you're about to go around the world and do all of this magic. It's time I had my passport on my altar before all of this even happened. I was praying for travel. I was really focused on the ritual of travel and the places that I was going, and I think it was just like time for me to leave the nest, for sure.
Speaker 1:Did you finish the rosary? I did, okay, I just needed, I just needed the update. I was like, did we finish the rosary? Cause I really thought about how rosary is made. I was like. I was like, ooh, that is a time. Okay, let's get onto these planes. Yeah, how? Because I would talk to you and be like, where are you? And I'd be like, oh, let's talk about the one. How did you get to the first place?
Speaker 2:And then financing yeah, I went to Mexico. First. It was a decision that came from, like, yeah, me already having a rough couple years, even though I was in this beautiful house space. The years were rough, from 2020, landing in New Orleans, a the the years, you know, were rough. Like from 2020, like, landing in New Orleans, a place like being pushed out of Los Angeles because of, like, um lack of affordable housing. Um, based on the money that I was bringing in and the, the change in my career and the change in my finances, um, because of the pandemic, like I, I, I had to leave. So already I was mourning that, licking my wounds from that in New Orleans and processing you know other things that happened during that year, during those two years, and I was like you know what, like, with this being the like, the final kind of like thing happening, like me having to leave this house and do all that, like, I'm going to celebrate myself. I'm going to go.
Speaker 2:My birthday was right around the corner. I moved out in 10 days, starting from like mid February. It was the shortest month and I still got out before the end of the month. I had one month in New Orleans in March and I was able to visit family land of mine that was stolen from us in Arkansas, and that's kind of where the spiritual warfare aspect was coming in, because I was kind of face-to-face with housing instability, land instability through my family, like generationally. So I was just like I I'm going to go back to my parents' house. They changed the room that I was like living in when I was like the last two years that I was in Los Angeles I was staying with them and was in that room, but they changed it. So they made a space for me in the basement. I got my bags and what wasn't in storage and took it to their house and was in the basement and was like, yeah, I'm going to go, I'm going to go to Mexico.
Speaker 2:A friend of mine had wanted to go, so we were like, let's go, it's just time's up for us to go to Oaxaca. So we went to Oaxaca and I was in the Yucatan, we were at these beautiful houses, had some beautiful food and then I was in like Mexico city. So I think I was there in Mexico for like about three, three to four weeks and what I guess what funded that like part of my trip, was me coming back to LA. I came back to LA in April and like almost immediately booked a guest spot on All Rise.
Speaker 2:It's like a judge drama, I think, on Fox, but has changed now, like the third season, I think aired on either, I think, own network and they had some kind of deal with HBO Max, so I think you can stream it on HBO Max. But, yeah, I booked a little guest spot there and, you know, got some coin right when I landed in Los Angeles, which was, you know, like a big blessing, um, and was able to to go there with ease, knowing that I wouldn't be working for that amount of time, like three to four weeks, yeah that also comes to mind as someone that now travels like once a month.
Speaker 1:Airports fucking suck, so how did you navigate all of these airports and all of these people? As someone that also might hear this and be like, oh shit, I am also being pushed out, I'm also being called to travel, I'm being called to listen to my ancestors, but have no fucking idea how to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I was really thinking about it, and thinking about it quite recently too, because I was like, oh, that is, that is something like different, different. I started flying I think, I think, my first flight. My mom has a picture of it and posted it like on my birthday this past year and I think I was like I think she said I was like maybe five when we first flew and like went to Disneyland, but I started flying by myself when I was like six or seven years old and I would yeah, I was like an unaccompanied minor. My mom would go with me to the gate and, you know, drop me off, and the flight attendant would take me and we'd walk down and I'd have a seat right in the front and, like I would, you know, just be sitting there.
Speaker 2:I had a little necklace around my you know, saying that I was an unaccompanied minor. Necklace around my you know, saying that I was an accompanied minor, unaccompanied minor. The flight attendant would check on me. I'd be like, hey, I'm good, you know, because I was going to my grandparents' house. I would go there every summer and every like Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I did that for maybe like seven years. So there was for all of, from, you know, from seven to 14, like I was taking flights like by myself, like back and forth between San Jose and Los Angeles, so it was an hour flight, it was a cute little time, but I think, like the acclimation to like, I guess, flight navigating, flight navigating like the, the energies of flight, was something that I had to do at like a very young age. So I think that definitely like helps. And then on top of that, like I have, I have my, my armor.
Speaker 2:I think it's a different kind of ball game flying during, you know, a pandemic, you know where, like a lot of people, at least in the States you know, aren't really focused on just counteractive measures like filtration system and masks. That I did see a lot more of in places like South Korea, in places like Japan. It was like woven into the infrastructure, where I'm looking at these huge like box-like structures and they have, like on a screen showing you like the amount of CO2, like they're filtering the air in places like the mall and places, like you know, like convention centers. So it would just make sense that these places would be, I mean, these things would be in places like hospitals or airplanes which are airplanes, but also like airports which they're not. So I, I just you know, I I take my COVID, my COVID precautions. I wear my mask on the plane. I've worn my mask on, you know, like 13 hour flights.
Speaker 1:I don't mask everywhere now, but a plane, they, they cough raw for me. They just be coughing out loud and I, I it's a wet.
Speaker 2:It's a wet chest cough, it's a wet lung, and you just like release and I'm just like I'm like I really I've been you, you know, of course, more sensitive to it, but you know something about that kind of like portal of travel, that travel portal. People just show up because they just, you know, they gotta get, they gotta get from like this place to that place and I've just, I've just heard some really gnarly coughs, to the point where I'm just like damn, damn damn.
Speaker 1:I think that I would be remiss if I didn't ask this direct question and which will come up continuously for me in this conversation is safety? So, as a Black queer person, right, because there's different levels of this what is it like traveling to all these places in different countries where we aren't always loved and all the we barely liked here liked okay. So what is that like? What has it been. Can we talk about it and share what you want?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I mean, it's been, it's been a whirlwind because you know I've been to a lot of places. I think the first thing to you know that comes to mind about, about this around. This is like the, the air, the airports you know around. This is like the airports. You know they have systems even of like, picking like gender on the scan. And if they choose, like, if they assume that you are a gender or have certain and it's really genital based, because, yeah, it's like a button that they choose, and if I, because of how I present and especially when I mask and when I'm speaking, a lot of people will assume I'm a cis woman. So the person pressing the button on the scan has multiple times pressed woman and then my genitals flag the machine. So they're like what do you got? What do you got? What do you got Like, what are you smuggling?
Speaker 2:And I'm just like You're glad to know There've been you know many times where like that has happened and like the woman or the person who checks, like what is assumed as woman in the person who checks, like the what is assumed as woman in in the TSA, will come over to me and usually when they're like closer or something, or like maybe seeing I have less mass around my chest or something, they'll like kind of clock me and be like oh, like we need to run you through the machine again and just press another button, or there we need to run you through the machine again and just press another button, or there there usually will be like a man that steps in and then just like gropes me pretty much, which is like extremely invasive and I think that's, you know, the first thing about safety.
Speaker 2:That's like really, you know, coming up around like the airport is just like kind of being at the whim of of I guess it's, you know, it's the state, really, you know, and like these extensions of the state and like realizing how violent, thank you, how violent the state is, even just in how they treat people going to or from, and all of those moments of like maybe feeling around my chest and or like my genital area has been in this in the States, in the state, like different state airports, I think, in Los Angeles and, um New Orleans, um Texas.
Speaker 2:So when I've been like traveling, like out of the country and coming back in, one thing that has helped is getting on global entry.
Speaker 2:Um, in a lot of ways you have to give up a lot of information for this.
Speaker 2:Like I understand that as a privilege as well, like being able to provide the government with vast amounts of information to basically like flag me as somebody who's not a potential risk because of how much information I volunteer and because of that I've been able to, you know, skip a certain level of like invasiveness at immigration, specifically when entering back into the States.
Speaker 2:So where there's like this long line and usually in that line people are looking at me, staring at me, kind of, there might be people who like interact with me or ask me about things, and then I get to the front desk and maybe they're asking me about things and I have to be on my feet for a long period of time. Like that I've been able to circumvent by applying for global entry, which has its own level of in invasiveness because I have to pull down my mask and they have to scan my face and all of this. But I can easily just walk through and it's been less daunting to even just arrive back into the States when I'm already processing coming back to a colony that, at least even during my travels, I have had a deep desire to move away from and to live outside of.
Speaker 1:We'll get to the big question in a moment, but what is your mental health like these days, as have been doing this outside in these streets? You are back in the States for right now, but we also know you're staying.
Speaker 2:But what's mental?
Speaker 1:health, like for you these days.
Speaker 2:My mental health is really volatile, chaotic. I definitely want to talk about finances, because that has a lot to do with my mental health and the volatility of finances has been pretty intense during this process, which is so wild. But I will say, like I started seeing a therapist, I had a therapist, maybe like the first therapist outside of, like what my introduction to therapy was, which was through the church. I would consider it conversion therapy. People are praying, you know, for you know my sexuality to be different. So that was what my entrance to behavioral therapy was at, like 16 years old. I can't recall it being more than even just like five sessions, just because I was not really responsive to it and I did have an aversion to therapy, which is why it took so long for me to like like see a therapist for the first time after that experience. But I did and she was, she was lovely and like 2018, 2019, I was able to, I think, into 2020, I think we had like a few sessions, like during the pandemic, virtually, and we just it just wasn't really like. She was the first person, she was very sweet, she was very attentive, but I didn't really feel a lot of like growth and like challenging and new ideas and like new, like tools coming to me through our relationship. So I, I I stopped meeting her. I, you know, had you know, rough and tumble couple of years through 2020, 2021, 2022. And that was when I I found another therapist, so I was seeing her virtually, which was a big blessing, and over the course of, I think, one year, we were able to meet and I got a lot of vocabulary about what I was feeling, things that happened in my past that I hadn't named in that way that I felt, and that I was aware of but hadn't named in order to be able to communicate to the depth that I was able to communicate, like after she shared, like her vocabulary with me and was just like present with me. So I was really thankful, vocabulary with me and was just like present with me. So I was really thankful. We stopped meeting in um at the end of last year. So it'll be almost about a year Um once October hits, it'll be almost about a year of me not seeing anyone. And I do I do feel I do feel like I'm mourning a little bit of a great therapist that I had. I really enjoyed our sessions, I really enjoyed checking in in that way. So I know that that's a big thing on my list, it really is. That's a big thing on my list, it really is.
Speaker 2:And at the same time, like, yeah, I, I have to rely on my, my routine, which, because of my lifestyle, because of the travels, is constantly changing. Even things that I would have access to, like food, like what I'm eating, like aren't, are always in flux, are always different. Even just the, even just my skincare routine. I'm like, oh, like, when I'm in like desert, more hot, more like hot dry, I can use this, this kind of routine. And when I'm in like humid, this and that, like I'm not, it not, it's completely different. I use different products, I do different things, I'm able to move differently or do differently.
Speaker 2:So with my routine that's constantly changing, like I really feel, like I'm stretching the muscle of like any time, like I'm moved off center, like I feel like I can navigate very quickly off center, like I feel like I can navigate very quickly.
Speaker 2:But that's why I said like my mental health kind of feels kind of chaotic and like volatile right now and I feel like I'm like I mean I'm doing a great job, I feel healthy to the point where I can, you know, recognize things that are activating me and I can recognize things that I want to heal, whether I can see ways out of the thing.
Speaker 2:I know that there are tools that have worked for me thus far and whenever I'm at my wit's end, to rely on those tools to journal, to meditate, to put my intentions out loud, to speak out loud, to pray, to drink water, to stretch my body, to dance. So there are things that I know, like boo, you haven't done that in a while and I know you're going through it Like you gotta, you gotta, you know, do some of that, do some of that, like right now, do some, and that really does help me in those moments. But at the, at the, at the end of the day, it really does, it really does like come down to my access to resources. That is that is really, like you know, impacting, like these movements as well. I would love a house, I would love to be more stabilized than I am, but I haven't found that yet and a big part also of my travelings is to find a place that could hold me.
Speaker 1:Where do you think the closest place has been? Is to find a place that could hold me, you know.
Speaker 2:Where do you think the closest place has been? Right now it's between Brazil and Japan. So I think when I was in Brazil, a lot of things like awakened for me and unlocked for me. I think I was in like probably the largest like African, african descended, like populated, like space that I had ever been. It's like more than 50%, more than 50% of the entire country. But I was in the state of Bahia and I was in Salvador, which I believe is like 80% African descended people live there. So I was present there feeding my ancestors for the first time after having moved from New Orleans. There I was able to put a plate on my altar there. I was able to learn Portuguese and learn from an Afro-Brazilian teacher. I was able to really connect with people there.
Speaker 2:I volunteered at a clinic, like a healing clinic that my friend who lives there also has a connection with, who lives there also like has a connection with. They were like you can come by, like practice Reiki and like massage therapy. People really need it, like it's people from the you know like, from the city. So I went, I rode, went there and was able to, you know like, be with all of these like Black, black femmes, like Afro-Brazilieros Like. I was there like and they were seeing me and I was thankful I wish I could visit again, like having learned Portuguese, cause I was there for six months and this was within like the first three weeks that I was like rolling up my sleeves like hey, like does anybody want Reiki Like or a massage. So I think like being able to return and have like deeper conversations would really impact me because even across like us not really speaking each other's language proficiently in that way Like we were talking with our hearts and like our bodies too, like I was able to really like learn from the people through my experiences there and through that like really really change and receive like a feeling of kinship that I had never felt like before outside of the States. I had only traveled to Costa Rica, spain and Canada since then, and then Mexico. So like going there and people just automatically speaking in Portuguese to me because I look Brazilian, they're just like you're Brazilian, like you, you're Brazilian. Let's talk like this. And for somebody, I think some people were like oh, you look familiar, you look like my child, have we? And I'm like I'm not from here. So it was on my heart to even be there.
Speaker 2:Prior to me moving to New Orleans, I had a vision about me going to New Orleans, going to Brazil and going to South Africa, in kind of this trine. That was like revealing itself, these like alternate universes where, if my ancestors were forced on a different ship, like I would have had lives in these places and in these ways. And I think that, really, that really like activated something within me my relationship with water, my relationship with ancestry, having witnessed land that you know, like a part of my lineage is indigenous to being stolen from us in Arkansas and my relationship with the States, like really, really, in being invited to expand during a time where I had no home to have to navigate around, returning to or paying rent to. I was just able to venture in that way and dive deep to the point where I was so thankful to be able to stay for that amount of time. The violence of, like, imperialism, you know, and global, global, global racism, global, global dominance that the state extends. It's, it's so interesting, it's insidious, to be able to talk to people, really talk to them, and see how their travels impact, are impacted just by, you know, having a passport from a different, a different colony when we are, you know, like I said, the same people or or cousin or kinfolk just stolen to different parts of the earth. So I think it was very important for me to um like feel, um the activation of the African diaspora through being in Brazil in that way, um stranger, as a foreigner, in ways that just like, I think, showed me that I can be comfortable in those settings as well.
Speaker 2:I had just traveled in Korea, like two months prior, so I flew from Busan to Osaka and I was able to like really heal there, learn Japanese there from like a private tutor and just like learn about culture through my teachers, and that was just really lovely to to experience as well. I think, like I I just have like a natural affinity to like the foods that they're eating A lot of fermented foods. I've been trying to heal my gut and center probiotics in my dietary like daily eating habits, eating rituals, like to be able to just like have access to that is really important. And then there's a lot of ancestor worship present there really does like just center more accessibility for people who need a little bit different in the structure of things. It was in Korea and Japan that I saw like bars in front of the urinal, to like hold somebody up, like that was something that I had never seen before. I'd seen Braille on like cans of alcohol, so that people can differentiate, like if they're, you know, going to get twisted.
Speaker 2:You know, like I think that these things on top of like just seeing like the neighborhood that I was in in Osaka, Not only was it like the highest population of like Korean, Japanese people, like it was like the Koreatown in Osaka that I was staying in, but it also had the highest amount of elderly people. So I really was in the space in Osaka to like see how elderly people could be treated, to see you know what an infrastructure that supports aging looks like, which is something that is a little bit harder to see in the States.
Speaker 1:Sure, absolutely it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, between that and also just like masking culture and like a culture of, you know, protection of airborne, airborne viruses, kind of being passed Like a lot, a lot of. I saw like billboards with people wearing masks and it was just like very natural, like in public spaces inside, to just like wear masks in that way where other places weren't, weren't, weren't giving that, and I was kind of navigating through a lot of anxiety about that, especially because all throughout the pandemic so far I've been able to find jobs that I can work remotely, so I haven't had to compromise how I was protecting myself just because I wasn't forced to engage in working with the public, which I know a lot of people have and a lot of queer people specifically. So I feel very blessed in that and at the same time like it's been hard, honey, it's been hard.
Speaker 1:Something that I know is really important to you and if you have been listening you have heard it weaves in and out of this as community.
Speaker 2:Can you tell folks how important it is to find actual community, Not just people that have been like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, but like it's a lot of fucking work and I think, like what the pandemic has showed me, like what you know, like having to isolate and like see how people are navigating, see how people are responding to genocide on multiple levels, see how people are responding to like recession and people in need, racial injustice, state sanctioned violence in this particular portal, like in like from 2020, I have definitely like. My community has shrunk since then and in a lot of ways, my sense of community or understanding of community was deeply woven within capitalism. Because I was working in the public sector honey, I still am in some ways but I had to get out of my house to get paid. I had to be on set, I had to be in the mix, I was going to clubs, I was working at the door, I was bartending, finding odd jobs, I was performing. I grew up in Hollywood. I was going to auditions, meeting people. A part of socializing and building community was instilled in me. To enhance and increase your ability to be able to get paid and get a job and survive within capitalism, you had to be a busy bee and talk to the right people and say the right things and wear the right things and move in the way that really did. Yeah, it made me extremely good at socializing because it was deeply intertwined with my survival. It was deeply intertwined with my survival. It was deeply intertwined with my survival and I did, I did find, in the change through the pandemic and me you know, seeing how people were showing up for me or vice versa that it was, it was. It was so insidious that it was like that and I do believe it's it. It it's like that in a lot of ways, and there have been people that I've fought fallen, and it's not even just like, it's not even bad blood, you know, it's not even like. You know like damn, like we, you really showed your your ass. And now I see, you, I see, and we're not friends and we're not in community, we're not talking, it's just. It's just it been informed by a deep sense of urgency to be well and to survive. I I was.
Speaker 2:I was deeply isolative the first three months of 2020, starting in March Like I didn't leave the house, we got things delivered, I wasn't forced to work and I was going through a breakup. So I was like very, very insular and when I was sitting in front of my computer, I was like I need to, like I need to find another place to live. I can't live here. I can't do this like this, like I gotta go. I was making lists of the places that I knew people and like and where I wanted to to be. Oh, I gotta charge my computer really quick, one second, all right.
Speaker 2:So I was sitting in front of my computer and I was trying to figure out where I was going to live and I was making lists of where I knew people and I made like I said Los Angeles, new York. I knew some people who had just moved to New Mexico I'm going to put New Mexico there, new Orleans and Chicago. I got family, I got some people that I know up there and I started looking for houses in all of those areas. And it was New Orleans because literally my friend, my family, my relative was like oh, you're thinking about coming to New Orleans. I got a room you can come and land, you can come and stay for as long as you need while you look for a house. Point blank period, come home. And I did continue looking in other places, but I was able to move to New Orleans and I was able to find a house like a month in. So I was like I do want to find a house, like after a month, and I said that and I did, and I was so thankful because it was really close to where my relatives lived and I was able to like link up and our interactions were informed by the pandemic as well as, like their disability, like it was hard for them to leave the house and there wasn't like any infrastructure for them to, like you know, be outside even or go to the park. So we got close because of that and I saw a lot of the inaccessibility of like things that other parts of my community like were kind of built in like nightlife performance life, um, like um set set set life like it just really showed me like how deeply, deeply problematic these structures are, to the point where, like any communities built on it like are are having a rough time and and they are like people that I am connected to, people that I was, like you know, going to parties with performing with, like chilling with, like people are going through it Like still right now, not being able to pay their rent, having to move, people getting evicted like people, people not having like support and not having people to show up at hospitals to see them, to take care of them, feeling like they're gonna, you know, like die alone and people don't know what happened to them.
Speaker 2:Like there's, like there's there's, I feel like we had an opportunity to slow down and really build community more than we've ever had. And I do feel like, out of all of the demographics that I've seen, like building strong communities, like it is queer, people-resourced and it's it's very hard having to navigate your own survival or having your survival tied up in, you know, accommodating the state by by being outside of your house, by working at night, by, you know, being in the lights, or by, at night, by you know, being in the lights, or by you know being that Yas queen and like not being able to to really heal yourself. You know not being able to really just like retreat and hold up and really like check in and be like you know, like this is what's happening. That's why you know, when I talk to you and talk about tending the garden, like I'm like this is like it's really real to me, like I really, I really, it's really deeply on my heart that people have even just a weekend, a week, to like show something for it, you know, or provide like a product at the end of the day for it, or like promote it, or like make it a job or make it a reality TV show. Like it is life to be able to commune and build like one-on-one and really strengthen individual connections, and it's through that that I've been able to like really understand what community is.
Speaker 2:So I took the long way around but I think that by my community getting smaller and me being able to show up for the handful of people that I'm able to really build with, over time, I've seen the fruit that much deeper to where, like you know, I'm like I don't even know where I'm going to live or how or where I'm going to go, and people are like oh yeah, come to my house, you can stay as long as you want. Oh yeah, we got a room for you. Like you can come here. You know, like, come here, you can live here, rent free, you know, or pay what you can, kind of thing. And that I do believe that you know would have happened maybe like prior to that, but it wasn't. And it really does stand out to me like now in my time, of just like having a different need and moving differently, that the people that I've been like, connected and grown with, like are the people that are showing up for me and vice versa, in like, really, in really, really hard times, you know.
Speaker 1:I think that's so real. That's when it like people are always around us People are like oh you know, or people be like oh you know so-and-so. No, I don't, we're all friends. No, we're not. We might. You know, we're very particular about language around here. I'm like I don't know about that. What do you think would surprise people the most about you?
Speaker 2:What would surprise people the most about you? What would surprise people the most?
Speaker 1:I'm chock full of surprises.
Speaker 2:I'm so curious. I guess the first thing that popped into my mind which is, I mean, is an interesting, maybe conversation is that maybe I'm an introvert, like I am a professional extrovert. I have had to survive through extroversion. My career and my financial opportunities are deeply tied to like being seen and having like my thoughts or my words, or like just me, my life, accessible to people through social media.
Speaker 2:The worst like kind of like period of my finances, my financial life, started to happen when I was off of Instagram for one for one year and I I didn't take that. I didn't take that lightly. So I think, like I, you know, I'm like hey, hi, like what's up, how are you doing? Or I get out and I'm like, hey, what's up? Wow, is like such a, such a mask, you know, such a mask for like damn, like I wish we're on this like music that's blaring, which I'm thankful for because I can at least like dance and like release and mask that way to just like move my body and kind of like shake. But I would much rather like heal and like be soft.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's like oh my God. And I'd be like, hey, this happened to me yesterday. I was like oh my God. And I was like I was like who is it? They were like it's you. I said, oh, okay, what's happening? I was like, oh me, oh, oh, nice to meet you. And I'm like, oh, we got to keep talking. I can't do this. I came to just stand here in the present. I didn't actually. You might find us on one of those days where our mask is off and it doesn't mean we don't care about people. We care about people so deeply that I need time to heal from people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, I do.
Speaker 1:Because also the absorption of the status of the world, not the state, not the country, the world, she's heavy.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:She's heavy, she's pissed. I'm tired. All I can do, take a nap, okay.
Speaker 2:That's real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, before we, before we get you some more coins and tell people more about your business. The last question of the show for me is because inquisitive that's the word we're using instead of nosy inquisitive what is the wildest thing someone has texted, emailed or DMJU in the last two weeks?
Speaker 2:The wildest thing.
Speaker 1:No, your journey.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, I I will say this only because it was giving me a really big chuckle today just because, like I, I'm so thankful for my ego and I like I don't, I feel like it doesn't impede me being able to like change, and change quite drastically. I recently started to promote my house cleaning services in Los Angeles, recently started to promote my house cleaning services in Los Angeles and, like I haven't cleaned people's houses professionally but I have I mean, even prior to the pandemic, like I was doing more like house cleansing, like I was showing up at people's houses, like cleansing the space, like going through, receiving information, like energetic stuff, like intuitive healing things. So I do have like a background of people inviting me to their homes and I would do like energetic healings for them and stuff. But like I'm really getting on my hands and knees and like scrubbing some, like you know, getting people's shit, like getting in the dirt and stuff, and I think it was like me, it was me posting and like people just being very responsive. And like I have like I'm thankful, I'm blessed that I have like three, three clients this week. You know, going to like three different houses. You know like three different houses, you know, and I just like it's been really a struggle for me to try to like it's literally like pulling teeth and nail to try to get people to pay for like workshops that I've done and like to get a reading for me or to buy an album buy some music for, like you know, $5 for an album or like you know, $55 for reading, and you know, just like these. But buy a $25 book and I'm like I'm charging $25 an hour to like clean your house.
Speaker 2:And people were like yay, like yeah, come clean, I would love that. Somebody was like I'd love to fly you out, like here, so you could clean my house. Like, just like, fly you out, like here, so you could clean my house. Like, just like, kind of like a, it's like an interesting response. It's an interesting response to me and finding where the bag is and finding where the coin is and what people are willing to pay for, you know, and like my thing and having to navigate, like you know, life within capitalism is to like fluid, especially just because I don't have a nine to five, I don't have a salary job, I don't have just one job. I never was raised to think that I even needed one job to do what I was doing. I was raised by a single mom who was a Gemini and she was also an artist. So I saw somebody hustling in Los Angeles to pay for not only herself but for me. So it's very familiar to me to hustle and to find where the coin is, and I haven't been.
Speaker 2:I think this will probably probably be like one of the first like jobs where I have to leave like my house in order to do for the past four years, like I was able to do like a retreat and like the set was also like a thing as well, but it was just different. It was more controlled environments, people were like masking and testing more there. So I feel like having to move through some anxiety of like leaving my house to follow this bag is just like, yeah, it's so interesting, I don't know. So I guess, like all of the DMs of people really excited for me to clean their houses, like maybe not knowing that I'm a superstar even you know what I mean Like undercover superstar, like making like international bops I just performed in Japan like twice last year about to leave for Japan and like next month and yeah, I'll clean your toilet, you know, I just think like it's not. It's not that I have anything against like like cleaning or house care work.
Speaker 2:I've been doing that work for like 10 years, but mainly through the focus of childcare, and did clean, you know, people's spaces and kitchens and spaces that the kids are in and the kids like. So this is I. I've been about this work, um, but it's just interesting how, how it's, it's and it's not. I don't know if it's like the absurdity of having to match the volatility of my finances through the volatility of like how I make money and like show up with my skills. It's like okay, like if you're not gonna pay me for this, like you can pay me for that. I could get this, this bag here.
Speaker 2:So I'm, I'm thankful, I'm thankful, even though it's really wild to me, um, like what I'm, what I'm, what I'm doing right now and what's like at least popping off for me in within the past like week of me trying to like summon coins for months now is like multiple clients kind of popping off and reaching out to me to like come and clean their spaces. So I'm tickled by it and I'm ultimately so thankful. So I have like four more weeks here, so I'm hoping to get you know in my little. That's why I said how do I feel right now? Who am I? I'm Jordy Poppins, honey, coming in on the East wind, finding where I fit in, where I need to be, and you know, I'll get you right, I'll get you together.
Speaker 1:I love those friends, Everyone be welcomed. So, before you go, where can he, she, they, them, ZZ, everybody darling? Where can they find out about you? Where can they send you money? Where can they purchase from you?
Speaker 2:from you. Yeah, right now I'm earth to Geordie everything. E-a-r-t-h-t-o-j-o-r-d-i. You can go to mycom, which is my website. You can earth to Geordie Venmo Cash App. You can donate that way. I'm paypalme slash earth to Geordie If you feel you know, if you international, you got PayPal, but I do have a website and I do have a store there, so I have a lot of virtual offerings.
Speaker 2:I provide readings, recorded readings. Some of my music is there. You can find the links to like my band camp on my website so you can buy any of the albums that I released and music that I released. I just released a new EP in June. That is like popping. I'm really thankful for the people who've been streaming it. But, yeah, it's Earth to Geordie Everything. And I have even like a book, a little book of potions, that I think within the past two months I um, I think I got it on Amazon, starting in January. So it's available on Amazon, um, for I believe, $20 right now. It's called little book of potions, um, and you just can. Uh, the link on my website will take you to the Amazon link.
Speaker 1:Yes, well y'all. I hope you received every one of your blessings and didn't miss any, because some of y'all just be missing on this wild, but until next time, y'all.
Speaker 2:Ciao.
